Apu’s World

Women’s Web, a new web mag and community for Indian women (the venture I discussed in my last post), is now live! Please do go visit, read and register (in order to participate).

It’s early days yet, so there may be a few glitches - please excuse us for this - the tech team is working hard to address them. Among the articles we’ve put up for launch, I like many (I’m biased of course!), but two of my favourites are this piece on Bollywood’s working women and an interview with Anouradha Bakshi, the founder of Project Why, an organization doing some very good work with the underprivileged.

As I said earlier, I’m excited but nervous too. I do hope those who’ve enjoyed reading this blog will find the site of interest as well.

apu Women & Feminism

Phew, it really has been quite some days since I managed to spend time here. In my defence, I have been busy with a new project that’s been in the wings for some time now (really, in the wings for so long that at times, I’ve despaired of ever getting it off ground). Finally, it does look as if we’ll be able to launch soon, so I can now talk about it here.

So, what is this New Project?

The New Project is a new website/magazine/community for Indian women.

Wait a minute, don’t we have some of those already?

Sure, but I do think there is space for more quality original content  - and without raining on anyone else’s parade, I’d like to say that at times, I feel as if the content specifically targeted at women is overwhelmingly about beauty, weight loss or celebrity gossip. Surely we are interested in more than these?

One thing which has amazed me for, for instance, is that, given how more and more women are entering the paid workplace, why is there so little focus on that?

So, one of the objectives of this new website is that a good part of the content is geared to working women. Now, by working women, I don’t necessarily mean someone who has a 9 to 6 job in a shiny office. Working women could be full-time workers, part-time workers, work-from-home moms, the self-employed, retired workers or - it could even be someone who is right now on a break, but would like to keep in touch, or, someone who’s never worked outside the home but wants to start. And who is to say homemakers don’t want to discuss many of these things too? (Not to mention that most women’s magazines in India also have a significant percentage of male readers).

The idea is to have interesting and intelligent content for women - feature articles on current topics, profiles of women who’ve done interesting things, a Q&A session with industry experts plus I’ve got some really cool bloggers who’ll be writing on the site. Other sections such as a forum and newsletter should follow soon, though the plan is to start small and grow with our readers.

It’s not a solely feminist website, in the sense that the content is not structured around activism and what we usually call ‘women’s issues’, but on the other hand, while it is going to be a commercial website, I do visualize it as a women-friendly space with two important values : to be supportive of women and their choices, and to talk to women as intelligent users.

Getting the site development through has been a huge challenge, considering that I don’t have a technology background myself; while things can always improve, it looks like we’ll be ready to go with Version 1.0 in a day or two, and I’ll announce the url here then.

I’m looking forward to support and encouragement from you folks, my dear blog readers - and of course, feel free to offer suggestions once you’ve had a look at the site. I hope to continue blogging here (and regularly), although I may use some posts at both locations.

apu Women & Feminism

Hectic, hectic sort of week! (Expect a BIG announcement here sometime in the next week or two, on a new venture that’s been in the offing for some time).

So, posting will be a little slow this week, but here’s a link to an interesting article, on women taking up the cause of better sanitation in Haryana by demanding toilets for their girls. I wonder if the demand for brides is in any way tied to the shocking gender ratio in that state?

apu Women & Feminism

I have been watching all the furore over the Women’s Reservation Bill, but not really said anything about it, perhaps because my thinking on the issue is a little muddled. I do believe that in the current political climate, women need additional support to enter and succeed in politics, but I am not sure if reservation is the best way to do it. Perhaps it is one of many things that needs to be done, including within-party reforms.

But, something else that I have been thinking about relates closely to this issue of so-called ’special treatment’ for women. This is the issue of maternity leave. Thankfully, maternity leave is not legally an issue in India, although it is still too short. That doesn’t mean it is not an issue in practice. Firms in the organized sector will not normally deny a woman maternity leave, though they may very well avoid hiring women of a certain age (the 24-32 age group seen as at ‘high risk’ of pregnancy).

Two questions which I have often heard are, if you claim to be equal, why are you asking for special treatment in the form of maternity leave?  Why should the company fund your personal choice to have children? These are two different issues, so let me break down my thoughts accordingly. In fact, to avoid too long a post, I will address only the first issue in this one.

Why “special” leave if you claim to be equal, is a question often thrown at women. This question assumes one important thing : that the norm is ‘no-maternity leave’ and therefore asking for maternity leave is a ‘deviation’, a call for ’special treatment.’ But, here’s the thing; assuming a norm of ‘no-maternity leave needed’ is a fundamentally biased one. It is a norm based on a situation where the workplace is entirely comprised of biological males who do not need maternity leave.

But, here’s the thing too : 50% of this planet’s citizens are women. What if we and our bodies were the norm? Looking at it this way, suddenly, maternity leave doesn’t seem like an aberration. Women’s bodies carry children, and those bodies need a period of rest before/after delivery, plus time off until the baby is weaned. That’s a biological fact. Workplaces have never been built taking into account the fact of women’s bodies or their lives. For e.g. transfer policies in most government departments in our country were laid down for a prototype male worker, whose non-working wife and children would simply move when he had to.

If 50% of the world’s occupants - women, were assumed as the norm, the situation would be very different. For those of you who still cannot quite picture how often men are simply assumed as the norm, flip the situation around. Let’s assume a new men’s bathroom is being fitted out, and a purchase request is placed for urinals. The Head of Purchase, who has to approve all requests, turns it down saying, “What! Why do you need standing-up urinals? Can’t you just sit down and pee, like we do? What is it with you men and your special requests?”

Today, this is what happens to women. Fundamental facts about our bodies and our lives, are treated as aberrations, simply because we are not treated as the norm. Equality doesn’t just mean treating us the same way as men. Equality also means that our needs are taken equally into consideration when the rules by which things work are drawn up.

apu Women & Feminism

Recently on Facebook, an acquaintance put up a status message that read, “I have never ever paid for meals when in the company of men, and I won’t, not even on Women’s Day.”

On reading her note and that of commentors, to say that I was surprised would be an understatement. Both male and female commentors seemed to agree. Among the comments were ‘long live chivalry’, ‘like to feel pampered’, and ‘A Man Who Lets Women Pay Is Not Man Enough’ (this last one, from a guy).

I placed a note there that I disagreed, but FB didn’t seem like the place to get into a long discussion. Hence this post…

I do have a major problem with the whole idea of chivalry, of which expecting men to pay is one. This doesn’t mean that I’ve never let a man pay for a coffee or lunch. Sure, I have, but on the other hand, I’ve also footed mine and his bill a number of times, and I don’t see why not.

To me, chivalry is part of the whole big idea of what a man should do and what a woman should do - in short the rigid codification of social rules for men and women. A man must pay, a woman should never. If we are sweeping away such rigidity in every other area of life, why persist here?

This rule made sense in an age when women rarely ever had their own money; naturally, men had to pay. Today, when I earn as well as most men of my acquaintance, I don’t see why anyone else should necessarily pay for me. Pampering doesn’t come into it - of course, most people like to be pampered once in a while, but that doesn’t mean you never pay for any meal with a guy. Plus, many such meals/coffees could be with guys I only know peripherally - I don’t see why they need to pamper me.

Expecting a guy to always foot the bill is also unfair - what if the guy is low on cash at the end of the month? Will he not feel uncomfortable saying that? In any case, it’s his hard-earned money too - why does he have to spend it on me?

Expecting a guy to foot the bill always is to me like expecting a guy to open the door or give up his seat for me. I don’t want special treatment because I’m a woman, but I do want courteous treatment as everyone in a civilized society should expect. Which means, everybody, male or female should offer a seat to a pregnant woman, disabled women and men, old women and old men.

I see some disconnect with demanding equality if we are not going to also take up an equal share of responsibilities. Mind, I don’t mean one has to strictly divide the bill into two each time - but, you get the general idea!

apu Women & Feminism