Apu’s World

Lately, I seem to be hearing a lot about the break-up of marriages and subsequent divorces. There was the Hiphop Grandmom writing on incompatible alliances and how they’ve led to the breakdown of marriages. Then, today, over the F Word Blog, I read a piece on how British Tory party members want a provision for a ‘three month cooling off’ period in divorce cases. If you look at the comments section on HHG’s piece as well, you will see one line of thought that couples are getting divorced for “frivolous” reasons.

In the last 3 years, I’ve seen a number of people in my own circle applying for divorce. Now, the plural of anecdote is not data, but considering the friends I’ve seen and human nature and Indian society, I somehow feel that people who are going in for a divorce are not doing so for frivolous reasons or on a whim. You may not agree with their specific reason, or you may think they should have tried harder, but whatever it is, I feel divorce is still a very hard route to take, not the easy way out.

Why?

Read the rest, over at Ultraviolet…

apu Other Social issues in India, Women & Feminism

I have a friend, a very good friend, who from time to time will throw in a casually dismissive remark about herself. Because of the colour of her skin - a beautiful, cocoa-coloured one which of course simply is not entitled in this country to be called beautiful. My friend, is one of the most beautiful people I know. Kind, to the point of being unable to say no to people who sponge on her. Incapable of being mean to anyone. Highly accomplished at what she does and hard-working. Loved by everyone who knows her. She is indeed one of the nicest people I know. Now, you may think none of this inner beauty stuff is the sort one can see in the mirror. So let me tell you that she also has a fine figure, sparkling eyes, evenly set teeth and a lovely smile. All of which she can surely see in the mirror, and yet, I can see that she does not think herself beautiful.

Simply because she has a skin tone that is the common skin tone found across our country. Simply because, in this country, there is only colour that qualifies as beautiful, and that is white, the whiter the better.

The recent ruling on a L’Oreal division being found guilty of racial discrimination is only a judicial affirmation of what is already known. Whether in France or here at home, marketers and advertisers believe that dark-skinned people do not sell. If this is indeed true, then it points to an even more pervasive problem, for it is not marketers alone who are pushing on us this idea of whiteness - society as a whole has internalised it.

I’m tempted to agree with that, although it cannot help a dark-skinned child to be constantly bombarded with images of whiteness and to be told that this is the only kind of beauty. Yet, 20-30 years ago, when atleast in India, media and television weren’t so pervasive, the craze for whiteness still remained. Almost as soon as a child is born, that’s the first question asked, ‘How fair is s/he?’ And of course the question carries disproportionate weight for girls, since everyone wants ‘fair and homely’ girls. Dark-skinned boys can make up with their achievements in other fields, but since girls must be beautiful above and beyond everything else, the weight of dark skin cannot be shed so easily.

I remember something I heard years ago when a somewhat dark girl in the distant family was finding it difficult to find a suitable boy. Someone said, well, if the boy is fair, they want a fair girl to ‘match his looks’, and if the boy is dark, they want a fair girl so that atleast the children will turn out fair! Either way, there is relentless pressure to turn into something you cannot.

What does it do to a child to constantly hear that she is in some way inferior? What does it do to a South Indian child to be told that she ‘looks South Indian’, as if that were an infectious disease? Discrimination on colour is well and kicking in this country. Leaving aside the issue of media representations, until parents and schools start confronting it head-on, a large proportion of children in this country are going to grow up with warped ideas of what beauty is.

apu Other Social issues in India, Women & Feminism

The activities of the Rama Sene and other such Hindutva outfits in Karnataka, parade under a “love” of Indian culture and a desire to prevent Westernization. In reality, whatever their views on Indian culture, these organizations indulge in violence both because they know that they have (tacit) governmental support and because they perceive that large sections of the population support them in some way or the other. Throw a stone, and you will find someone who says, yes, they shouldn’t be attacking people, but Should girls be dressing this way? Is pub drinking really necessary? Aren’t we becoming too Westernised? Shouldn’t youngsters be focusing on their education instead? , not realising that none of these is the real issue. 

We may or may not be becoming too Westernised. Young people may or may not be drinking too much. The truth is, these are just issues being used by these outfits to promote their agenda, which is, to gain power by creating a culture of fear, exploiting some of the class and religious issues that are lying dormant in society. The ugly truth is that a lot of people fear the rapid empowerment of women that has happened within the span of two decades. Unlike the ‘good, old days’, many women now refuse to let others tell them what they should study, where they should work, what they should wear, how they should spend their leisure time, and most importantly, who they should marry. Of course, we need to keep in mind, this ‘many women’ is still not a majority; nevertheless, it is a highly visible minority, and to the Hindutva groups, a threat that needs to be ‘put in place’. Why? Because ‘our women’ are the so-called pride of the community, and they will continue to be a pride only if they conform to the ideal image of the Bharatiya nari; if not, the entire community is ‘disgraced’. 

The truth is also that in parts of Karnataka, there are issues between the 3 major communities - things are not hunky-dory. Influx of money from the Middle East (which I hear is mainly from Christians and Muslims working there, though correct me if I am wrong, since this is more something I’ve picked up from people etc) has created problems - jealousy, rivalries etc. Such conflicts are a convenient handle for Hindutva groups to exploit, combined with a growing fear of Christian Missionary activities and othering of Muslims due to global Islamic terrorism. 

There are also class issues. The last 10 years have seen an unprecedented rise in incomes, but, only for some people. This isn’t a rebellion of the poor, but certainly, the complete difference in opportunities offered to someone from a Kannada medium and someone from an English medium school, especially in a city like Bangalore (increasingly, even a Mangalore and a Mysore) cannot be missed. The large numbers of under-educated young men who pass out of state-run Kannada medium schools and cannot access the better colleges that will lead to the better jobs - are they not a ready recruitment base for these fundamentalist groups ? The resentment they feel against ‘outsiders’ is there for the power-hungry to exploit. This, we have already seen happening in Maharashtra. 

All of these of course have implications for women, especially for urban, affluent women who are in some ways what the Hindutva brigade would most like to control. Attacks on such women are more visible in the media, giving the attackers more publicity. You rarely catch the fundamentalist groups lecturing women in slums on how they should behave - indeed, it is not uncommon to see women from lower income groups casually smoking bidis, something an upper-class woman would think twice before doing on the street. In a sense, the Hindutva brigade would like the upper-class woman to stick to their templatised version of the Bharatiya nari - for this is the woman who is to ’set an example’. Wealth is aspirational, and if one can bind wealth into a straitjacket, so much the better. Not that fundamentalists may reason out strategy in this fashion, but instinctively, they know whom to target. 

And this templatised version can then be showcased to everyone else, held up as an example or even a requirement. This has already begun - in some colleges in Karnataka, Muslim girls have been harassed for wearing the burkha to college. So, on the one hand, the Bangalorean girl who wears Western clothes isn’t Indian enough for them, but neither is the Muslim who wears a burkha. It comes back to everything conforming to the narrow template of the Indian woman that they have built up, and in this template, the default is Hindu, so naturally, burkhas are out. The idealised pattern of Indian womanhood will gradually be rolled over to everyone who doesn’t already conform to it. 

Already, many of us have started wondering - is it safe to wear jeans? Is this top too short? Isn’t it safer to have a drink at home than go out to a pub? Perhaps, in smaller towns, Hindu girls may also be wondering -Should I talk to a Muslim boy in public? This is the first victory for fundamentalists. They make us question our own behaviour, even when we know that we are not doing anything wrong. We are scared because we know that, should something happen, there will be people, perhaps even among our friends, who say, But, wasn’t it unsafe to have worn something like that? Don’t you think you should have had some men with you at such a late hour?  In other words, we know that even the sympathy we get will not be unconditional. From here on, it is easier for the fundamentalists to make it seem as though this is the norm. After all, what can be so bad about curbing drinking? After all, what can be so bad about promoting Indian outfits? After all, what can be so bad about preventing Muslim girls from wearing the burkha; isn’t it oppressive anyway?*

Not until we recognise the power-hungry nature of such groups and deny them any excuses for violence, can we reclaim our freedom. Class issues, religious issues, issues of migration, issues of opportunity and livelihood, issues of modernity, issues of Westernization - all make the recruitment drive of the Senas (whether in Karnataka or that of the MNS in Maharashtra or similiar groups elsewhere) much easier - but these are not the “reason”  for violence. Ultimately, the desire for power and a world-view which sees violence as a valid option is, and the sooner we recognise that, the better. 

* I do think burkhas are oppressive, whether imposed by social norms or chosen by the individual - I don’t agree with the basic reason behind them. However, I would still champion any woman’s right to wear one of her own volition. 

apu Other Social issues in India, Women & Feminism

Although not a very outwardly religious person, I am a Hindu and proud to be one. I believe that while Hinduism has had its evils, the best versions of Hinduism promote harmony, righteousness, truthfulness and love of all creation. I love Hinduism for its acceptance of every individual’s right to worship in a manner they choose. The concept of ‘ishta devta’ is unique to us - in a sense, it recognises that Gods are man-made creations, and so long as we are creating them, why not worship a God of your choice, one that you feel close to? I love Hinduism for the way it recognises that the earth does not belong to human beings alone - we revere snakes, we revere trees, our mothers always fed the crows before serving food to anyone, we worship Bhoomi Devi - the earth herself. I love Hinduism for the way it has accomodated dissent - atheism and agnosticism were recognised schools of philosophy in ancient India, there have always been multiple variations on the Ramayana and Mahabharata, some very transgressive. 

I don’t think Hinduism is in any danger so long as enough people appreciate its basic tenets, and considering the Indian population, that’s a lot of people. Even if for the majority, religion is all about ritual, still there are enough young people interested in the great myths and stories of ancient India, and their teachings and wisdom.

Yet, a certain set of hooligans feels emboldened enough to assault and harass women, on the pretext of preserving Hindu culture. The recent assault on women in Mangalore, for the “crime” of drinking in a pub, is not shocking for the violence itself - as Smokescreen says, violence against women itself has become commonplace. What shocked me was the blatant justification of the act in the name of ‘guiding’ and ‘protecting’ women against Western culture. Many bloggers have condemned the attack and written on the rise in moral policing across cities in India. 

My question is a little different. I don’t inherently have a problem with those who want to reform or promote the Hindu religion. Even if I don’t think that such promotion is necessary and that India has many more pressing problems such as illiteracy, poverty and over-population, those want to focus on religion are entitled to do so. The question is, why does promoting religion automatically deteriorate into the repression and policing of women? 

There are many, many things that the promoters of Hindu religion could focus upon. Many ancient Hindu temples, for instance are in a pathetic state. These are temples built by Hindu kings, to glorify Hindu Gods. Young lovers scrawl ‘chunnu loves munnu’ on the walls and garbage is thrown against crumbling walls. But, we are not concerned about the loss of this greatness that has been passed down to us. Hinduism has its own evils to contend with. Even today, in places, Dalits are not allowed to enter temples and their children are ill-treated at school. But, we are not concerned with such reform. Nor are we bothered about folk arts, music and dance which were often patronised by Hindu kings and temples, but are now dying out as the artists find more paying vocations. 

All that the self-styled defenders of Hindu culture can think about is whether the hemlines of women’s clothes are long enough and whether or not they are engaging in activities that are ‘alien’ to Hindu culture. Even if we discount the politicians who promote such mobs for political ends, there must be people who join these groups believing that they are furthering the cause of Hinduism. Why does women’s clothing and activity become the target? 

For one thing, it is easy to do. Get a bunch of people together, carry some easily available weapons and barge in to the nearest pub or cafe. By contrast, volunteering with Hindu religious and charitable organisations such as the Ramakrishna Math or Chinmaya Mission takes time and effort. 

Then, women are easily shamed. In this country, there are always enough people available to point out how women ‘invited’ attack, by their ‘provocative’ dress/speech/activity/whatever. Even those who feel that women should not be assaulted will question as to what ‘decent’ women were doing in a pub. Few women will press cases against a militant outfit, especially one which has political backing. 

It is also an extension of the same mindset which evaluates the ‘honour’ of a community by how well it’s women stick to prescribed norms. In this mindset, women are not individuals; they are only representatives of a community, and fragile ones at that, who must be protected from their own actions. If they refuse this protection and cross the lines of prescribed behaviour, they no longer qualify for the tag of ‘virtuous Hindu woman’, the sati-savitri who deserves protection. For men with this mindset, even without extraneous political influences or the lure of money, attacking such women is not a crime. This is also compounded by stereotypes of Muslim men as predatory men who prey on gullible Hindu women. To their minds, it is not feasible that a Hindu woman may ‘choose’ to associate with men of a different religion; she has been duped and must be rescued. 

And the sad thing is, this mindset is no longer scarce. While a few actively get out on the streets and assault women, the mindset is more widespread. A few urban individuals condemning such attacks is not enough. And while law and order needs to be strengthened, that is not enough to change this mindset. For a majority of people, the truth is that it is religion and religious leaders who have the most influence. Hindu religious leaders need to take a more aggressive lead in showing the way for Hinduism - for guiding people on to a progressive and inclusive version of Hinduism. In the absence of leaders such as Swami Vivekananda, who were both Hindu and forward-thinking, the space for Hindu leadership is being hijacked by narrow-minded zealots for their own ends, and the results are there for all to see. 

apu Other Social issues in India, Women & Feminism

So, Barack Obama has won the race to the White house, and there is jubilation all around, with much talk about breaking of racial glass ceilings and so on. Whether or not Obama is a “typical” African-American (after all, his father was a recent, educated immigrant from Kenya, and his mother white), symbolically, it is still a big deal.

Television channels in India have immediately started drawing parallels to the Indian context. We don’t have race of course (or not as a significant issue), but what we have is Caste. So, the obvious question is, is India ready to elect a Dalit prime minister? More specifically, are we ready to elect the likeliest Dalit candidate on the horizon, Mayawati?  

Leaving aside the fact that Indian politics is more complicated than the American landscape, with its multiple parties, both national and state-level, I have to say that Mayawati somehow draws a very polarized response from me. Put simply, these days, whenever I see her on television, I feel a terrible dislike. But, I didn’t always feel this way. I remember the 90s when she first emerged as someone to reckon with, I was thrilled - a woman and a Dalit - mobilizing a constituency that had never been really mobilized before (despite all the lip service paid by most politicians); for the first time, there was a sense that there could really be an India where Dalits mattered. While the Mandal issue had brought caste to the table as a major election issue, the BSP gave out the hope that Dalits could haul themselves up and march to the capital - they didn’t need handouts from anyone else.

As an upper-caste woman who gets to see upper-caste whingeing and prejudice at close quarters, I thought that here was an opportunity for the historically oppressed to really have the power that is needed to create a new social order. Perhaps because my expectations from the BSP, and from Mayawati were so high, I feel all the more let down.

Yes, symbolically, she is a huge inspiration and in a sense, she proves that India has reached a stage where being Dalit need not be a barrier to success. But, beyond all that, how have her stints in power been? Let’s see.

She has built up what seems to be assets disproportionate to her income, and then claimed that these were gifts from party members.

Her government has been in the news for accepting kickbacks.

She got involved in the Taj Corridor case, which could have caused damage to India’s best-known monument.

She has about 40 statues erected to herself.

Now, none of these are unique to Mayawati. Every Indian politician makes money, steals money from public coffers and spends extravagant sums on his/her self-aggrandisement. Should Mayawati necessarily be different simply because she has come to power, promising to fulfil the aspirations of Dalit voters? In other words, should she be held to a higher standard?

On the one hand, as a feminist, I am tired of hearing people say that women have to work twice as hard to make it. Do you have any idea how tough it is to work twice as hard? And that too, when most women actually hold down two jobs, one outside, and one inside the house. Doesn’t expecting a Dalit Chief Minister to be better than every other politician smack of this?

On the other hand, no one can deny that there is so much work to be done. And Dalit or not, can we not ask our leaders to be accountable for the money (our money) that they use?

Apart from issues of misuse and accountability, there is also a worry that in her haste to consolidate power, Mayawati is willing to woo the upper castes - as such, there is nothing wrong in this - having an inclusive agenda can lead to less caste-divisions and progress for everyone. But, is that what it is, or simply vote bank politics and fear of losing out on the upper-caste vote? I’m also surprised that we don’t hear her much on Dalit issues anymore - According to the National Crime Records Bureau, the last data available (for 2005) shows a small decline in the number of atrocities against SC/STs, but even so, we are a long way from caste-based crimes being eradicated. Plus, while she clearly shows prime-ministerial ambitions, we don’t really hear her speak or do enough when there are such cases being reported in other states regularly, which makes me suspicious that she is soft-pedalling the issue to gain wider acceptance.

So. Is a symbol enough or should we be expecting more?

apu Other Social issues in India