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Disability & Parenting: Deivathirumagal

August 29th, 2011

So after ages, I watched a Tamizh movie yesterday, one which I’d vaguely understood to be a ‘different’ movie. The strongest impression that I got after watching Deivathirumagal is that Indian audiences are far readier to move on beyond melodrama and lazy screenplays - than Indian producers and directors are.

This is not a review, and the movie has been out on screens for a few weeks now - so, there are going to be some spoilers here.

Deivathirumagal essentially revolves around a mentally challenged single father, Krishna and his fight for custody of his daughter, Nila. One of the issues here is that despite taking up a challenging subject like mental disability the movie shies away from really looking at it. And it is not mild disability; Krishna’s mental capabilities are pegged at that of a 5-year old.

One puzzling example of this half-heartedness is when we are told that the child’s mother, who dies in childbirth, left her home because she fell in love with Krishna. Without meaning any disrespect to mentally challenged individuals, one has to ask what drives an educated women from a super-rich family, to fall in love with a poor, mentally challenged man from a rural background. By not talking disability here, I could not understand what the director, Vijay, was trying to accomplish. Was he trying to say that disability is not a barrier to love (in which case, he could have been bold enough to say that), or did he just mean what a character in the movie says, that ‘modern girls’ are simply content with a good-looking man?

Then, there is the custody battle itself. What a splendid opportunity to examine the basic question: does an individual with a severe mental disability deserve to keep custody of his child? There are no easy answers here; as the Judge says in one scene, custody is not just about who deserves what - at its core is the question of the child’s welfare.

Examining this would not have made the movie ‘boring’ or ‘art-movie-type’. One of the loveliest things about the movie was how beautifully it showed the relationship between the father and the daughter - that despite his disability, Krishna copes with bringing up Nila, with the help of the small community they live in. Nila is shown as sprightly, intelligent and empathetic - and in a believable manner, not in the annoyingly perfect kid mode that Indian movies used to revel in. Given this relationship at the heart of the movie, it would not have made the movie any less interesting if it had dared to take on the custody question directly.

Instead, Krishna’s bumbling lawyer team spends all their time attempting to hide his disability from the court. Thereby killing the entire premise of the movie that a mentally challenged individual is still capable of many beautiful things, including parenthood.

Through the movie, the audience sat in rapt attention - and although the first half had little filmi romance or action, no one seemed to be missing it. Nor did people laugh at Krishna - there was laughter, but it was with him. That is a sea change, when you consider that 10-15 years ago, a character like this would likely have been the comedian on a sidetrack.

Which is why it’s sad that the director did not think his audience would be ready to look at the question of disability upfront - Nila’s custody is ultimately resolved through an emotional route. The judge/ court realises the depth of their love for each other, but the fundamental question stays unanswered. Until Krishna returns the child himself to her maternal relatives - as if acknowledging the limitation of his claims.

In a way, the director plays it safe - yes, a mentally challenged parent has a right to be a parent (and here he milks our tears by playing up their love), but no, he doesn’t really, as Krishna himself seems to acknowledge in the end.

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The Woman As Redeemer Stereotype

October 22nd, 2010

In response to our My Favourite Female contest, Unmana of Unmana’s Words very kindly sent me a link to this interesting Female Character Flowchart developed by Overthinking It. It nicely identifies many different kinds of stereotypes/archetypes which most female characters in popular culture usually fall into: damsel in distress, perfect wife, The prude and Crazy career woman being some.

Now, stereotypes are of course not limited to female characters. One could as easily point to male archetypes - some common ones being bumbling husband (Everybody loves Raymond, King of Queens), the strong-silent-type and the rough diamond (think Mills & Boon anti-hero). Stereotypes are basically a bundle of traits applied consistently to a particular target group - Punjabis are always boisterous, the career woman is always Westernized, selfish and bitchy, the mother is always sacrificial and so on. Stereotypes work not because a writer (or any other person) thinks them up with malicious intention but because they reflect the underlying ideas of the majority and/or because they make it easy for people to identify and remember things. After all, when one has seen a dozen Hindi movies with a jovial, good-hearted Punjabi saying Jolly Good ji!, it takes no work for the viewer to understand what another such character is about.

Can stereotypes ever be positive? Read on and share your thoughts at Women’s Web

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Indian Values, Raising Children

June 22nd, 2010

The DVD of Love, Sex aur Dhokha has been lying around at home for some time, but it was only over this weekend that I got around to watching it. Directed by Dibakar Banerjee (of Khosla ka Ghosla fame), LSD is actually three stories in one, with peripheral links to each other.

The first one is a mushy love story, the second an MMS sex scandal and the third, about the media’s voracious appetite for ’stings’. It is the second and third stories that really hold your attention; the first one is slow to heat up and I almost forwarded a little of the first 10-15 minutes. Yet, my mind keeps going back to it. (This post isn’t a movie review though.)

*Spoilers here, beware!*

When the love story of Rahul, aspiring director at a film institute and Shruti, the “Simran” of his film begins, it is hard not to think of this love story as more a paean to DDLJ than anything else. Cheesy like the film they are making, it is hard to imagine that Rahul and Shruti really love anything beyond the feeling of being in love.

And yet, given the conservative family Shruti comes from, there is no possibility of their dating or getting to know each other. Love must lead to an elopement and marriage almost immediately. Rahul’s blithe confidence that after marriage, the family will “come around”, is almost revolting to watch in its stupidity. The end, when it comes, is gruesome, even though nothing of this honour killing is really shown.

Just yesterday, the Supreme Court has issued a notice asking the Central Government (and a few states), why they are doing nothing to combat the recent spate of honour killings.

The thing about us Indians is that we pride ourselves on our superior ‘Indian values’; we lose no chance to deride Western societies for their (alleged) lack of affection, ‘family values’ and morality. Nowhere is this more evident than in our smug attitude to the upbringing of children. It is so common to hear people talking as though Indians are the only people that know how to bring up children well - everywhere else, children are neglected, spoilt, abused and grow up to have no love for their parents.

And yet, this is the country where a good chunk of people are all too ready to sacrifice their children in the name of honour, society, family name and blah blah. Honour killing is one extreme end of the spectrum, but the unwillingness to accept children’s choices and their happiness as a primary consideration exists in many other forms, ranging from emotional blackmail to being ‘cast out of the family’.

Gajar-ka-halwa aside, we need to stop kidding ourselves. I suppose we have good and bad parents like everywhere else, but no magic beans that qualify us as the best parents on earth.

apu Media-Movies-Ads, Women & Feminism

Update from Women’s Web

May 5th, 2010

It’s very, very early yet, but have received pretty encouraging responses to Women’s Web. We’ve also managed to solve the problem with registration that some users had, so those of you who faced initial problems, please do try again now.

We have two new features up, on Financial Lessons from the 2008-09 recession and on Writing your resume after a break. Plus, there is an interview with Bhavna Chauhan, debutant author of ‘Where Girls Dare’, a novel around women in the Indian army. The first of our bloggers (apart from me), chimed in with a post on mother-daughter bonding.

I’m trying to set up a feeds link here so that it automatically gets updated, but right now, there seems to be some problem with feeds. I’m also trying to figure out how best to use social media to get the site to a larger audience. Women’s Web is on twitter, and that is being regularly updated, but I haven’t done much beyond that. Suggestions from savvy folks are welcome!

Update: We have a Facebook group for Women’s Web now. Sign up!

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Becoming Woman

October 25th, 2009

All I knew was that this non-profit group called MARAA was organising some sort of performance on gender and sexuality. A friend told me about it and even offered to pick me up. Work lay unfinished on my table, but what the hell, I decided, I could always catch up later. And that’s how we found ourselves at Jagaa, which calls itself “a community space created to serve the arts, technology and social change communities in Bangalore.” We climbed up two flights of metal staircases to find a fairly large group of people, sitting, standing, leaning on the banisters – and listening attentively to the performers – a group of people variously called hijras, transvestites, transgenders or Aravanis (The Indian concept of third gender is somewhat different from Western conceptualizations – read here).

The rest, over at Ultraviolet… please read, for an account of an interesting and thought provoking performance.

Update: I forgot this link by Bombay Dosti, which I had meant to add - on the shaming of a sex worker in Bangalore, by a TV channel engaging in a so-called sting operation. Outrageous and ridiculous, besides showing up just how objective our media is.

apu Media-Movies-Ads, Women & Feminism