I cannot remember when I first heard the Ramayana or who told me the story. I imagine it must have been my mother when I was very young, but I have no memory of it. When I was around 7 , my grandfather, a Rama-bhakta himself, gifted me and my sisters a book called The Prince of Ayodhya. And I was hooked. It was a story and at the same time, because it was the story of Rama, it was a true story, one that thrilled and inspired me. It’s been a long time since then, yet, even now as I straddle the fence between faith and disbelief, the Ramayana is so much part of my life that in times of great stress, I find myself comforted by writing or chanting the name of Rama.
One thing that has troubled me tremendously though, is the banishment of Sita. After pining for Sita for over a year, raising an army and building a bridge to cross the mighty ocean, after fighting and killing and much destruction, Rama banishes Sita simply because a washerman doubts her faithfulness? So NOT happening! In the first version of the Ramayana that I read, the story simply ends with Rama and Sita assuming the throne. In fact, I have it with me now, and this is what it says:
The King and the Queen were supremely happy and ruled the kingdom for a very long time….During their long reign, there were timely rains, the crops never failed and famine was unknown in the land…All the people in the kingdom were well-fed, well-clothed and well-protected…The names of their King and Queen were ever on their lips…In fact, the long and prosperous reign of Rama and Sita was a Golden Age, the like of which is unknown in the annals of men.
A ‘live-happily-ever-after’ ending, just like any child would want. It was much later that I heard the other ending, the one in which Sita is abandoned and left to raise her children alone. Even as a young girl, it came as a small satisfaction to me that Sita later expresses her anger at Rama’s unjust abandonment of her and chooses to return to her mother, Bhoomi Devi.
As a practising Hindu and as a feminist, how does one reconcile this unjust treatment of one of a great heroine by someone who is revered as the ideal man? I mention as a practising Hindu, because I assume that for an atheist, the question would be irrelevant. For someone who loves the story, however, it is difficult to believe in the ideal of Rama when confronted with his cruelty to Sita.
One explanation that is usually offered is that while Rama was an avatar of Vishnu, he was still a mortal man, and therefore, he had his failings, one of which was that like other mortal men of his time, he was ready to cast aspersions on his wife. Another is that he was first a king, and then a husband, and as King of Ayodhya, he could not have a queen the public did not believe in. In this version, the washerman is only a symbol of public opinion in general. A third option is to believe that Sita’s banishment is simply not part of the original Valmiki Ramayana, and therefore does not need to be included. Indeed, Ashok Banker’s Ramayana series (which reintroduced me to the joys of the Ramayana) takes this track, and personally, it is the option I find most comfortable.
There is a fourth opinion, based on a more esoteric reading of the incident; for instance, this interpretation by a Vaishnava teacher, which sees Rama’s banishing of Sita as a desire for a more intense experience of love, in the form of separation. To my logical mind, that is a little hard to swallow. After all, Rama already had experienced separation for a year; why would he chase it again?
Do you have a version of Sita’s abandonment that you can live with or has it led you to reject the Ramayana altogether? Is Rama simply an unjust man obsessed with the notion of purity or a righteous man faced with difficult circumstances or do you prefer to believe that it simply didn’t happen that way? Do share!
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