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Don’t Be Judgmental.

December 14th, 2011

Hello, dear readers, if any of you are still visiting! It’s getting harder to maintain a separate personal blog when I’m also running (and writing at) a growing website, but somehow, even though I’m becoming an infrequent visitor here, I’m also reluctant to shut it down entirely. Sigh.

Every other day, I think of things I’d like to write about, and even make a note of them dutifully - yet, time seems to race ahead of me everyday. Anyways, one of the things I was thinking about recently was, how often I hear the phrase these days, “Can’t be judgmental” or “She’s so judgmental”. It seems to be almost a self-evident sort of truth, that one shouldn’t judge.

But, when I think about it a little, I feel that it is really hard to refrain from judging - in fact, it’s practically impossible. Even the most “let-live” type person is bound to have something that they abhor, isn’t it? And aren’t there certain things that all (or most) of us would judge pretty harshly? I mean, if I came across a case of child abuse or ill-treatment of domestic workers, I’m not going to be ‘chilled out’ or put myself in the perp’s shoes and refrain from judging. Would you? I certainly judge high-earning professionals who crib about paying the maid a decent living wage.

Even on less ’serious’ issues, most of us do judge, even if the specific hot buttons vary from person to person. In my case, I can think of a few things where I am rather judgmental. I tend to feel that people who read chick-lit or praise Chetan Bhagat can’t possibly be very intelligent - although rationally, I do know that reading tastes are not a barometer of everything and also that a person could be very intelligent or skilled at some things and less so at others. I judge parents whose children are consistently bratty. I also know that I do judge less as I grow older.

For instance, in my teens, I used to judge women who quit work after motherhood as “wasting their education”. Age and the experiences of loved ones have taught me that no education is wasted, and certainly, they are no more “wasting it” than the IIT-IIM graduates who sell soap and washing powder.

What about you? What/Who do you judge? Or do you manage to stay above it all?

apu In General

  1. December 15th, 2011 at 09:20 | #1

    And you are back….good to see this space updated :)

    We all judge dont we…some people are more vocal about it and some people are not…

    I dont think anyone can manage to stay above judging..its so difficult na

  2. December 15th, 2011 at 11:34 | #2

    R’s Mom - so nice to see you’re still following here :) I agree - reg the being vocal bit - I sometimes feeling that the main difference between being judgmental or not is how much one talks about it - and of course, not all of one’s “judgements” need to be shared!

  3. December 22nd, 2011 at 23:11 | #3

    I agree, being vocal about one’s judgment is what makes it really bad. I think I judge intolerance… and very vocal judgment :)

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