My Sins against Gender Stereotypes
The inimitable IHM kicked off this theme of ‘My sins against gender stereotypes’ and that brought me out of my blogging funk 
The tag says, “list at least ten things you have ever wanted or done which your gender is not supposed to.”
And here’s the thing - when I thought about it, I realized that I like and want many things which are conventionally associated with women, but I don’t think that makes me less feminist in any way. For instance, I like cooking, I like jewellery ( at least to look at) and I like new clothes (though I don’t hoard old ones), but I firmly believe in partners sharing household work and in women’s need to be financially independent. To me, feminism is about women having the right to make decisions independently, in their own interest.
I guess what I am trying to say is that gender stereotypes are not just about wearing pink, wearing (or not wearing) shorts or liking jewellery - I have seen women who dress extremely “modern” but are aghast at the idea of men doing housework, and I have a cousin who is very modest in her dressing and highly religious, but absolutely modern in her thinking on what women are entitled to. (You know who you are :))
Now, coming to the tag - I doubt I have committed that many obvious sins against gender stereotypes, but let me try!
1. I’ve travelled independently from the time I was in my late teens, and never felt afraid to, simply because I am female.
2. I’ve been open about my relationships and never believed that a woman’s ‘name will be spoilt’.
3. I dislike most housework (folding clothes, ironing, cleaning loos), and while it irks me that I am often called lazy by my family, I don’t see that as a good enough reason to change!
4. As a teenager, I was encouraged to aim for a teaching job, as one ’suitable for women’ - rejected the idea outright.
5. I’m comfortable with the husband doing his share of work at home, and many chores are not assigned to any one person - there is no ‘man’s work’ or ‘woman’s work’ at our home.
6. I had no hesitation being the first to tell my husband that I liked him (back in the days when he wasn’t yet the husband). Who says girls have to be ‘asked’?
7. I don’t believe that I need to wear a mangalsutra or sindoor to ‘demonstrate my marital status‘.
8. I have always helped my parents financially, when needed. When I stayed at home (after I began working), I paid my dad a fixed amount every month to cover my share of expenses. Thankfully, my dad is modern too, in this aspect and not one of those who think daughters shouldn’t take care of their parents.
9. When organizing anything, I don’t wait for the men to pick up heavy stuff, move things etc.
10. I am the financial manager of my house - I handle the bank, savings, investments, and keeping track of the spending.
I don’t know whom to tag, because it looks like many people have already been tagged! So, at the risk of being cursed to wear only blue pants all my life, here are the ‘taggees’ I can think of - Uma, R’s Mom and Itchy.
Hey I loved the tag so much that I already did it…anyways thanks for tagging
(http://readingthroughrsmind.blogspot.com/2010/07/my-sins-against-gender-stereotypes.html)
Finance manager - WOW to that!
and giving your dad a part of your income - Cool…I think thats such a wonderful thing to do
and proposing first..thats one thing I didnt know about you hahaha
cheers apu!
:-)
The pink and blue was a what I thought was a mildly sarcastic take at stereotypes Apu
Pants from ‘who wears pants in the family’ 
I call my saree wearing mom a feminist although she was superstitious about removing her bindi, she made sure we developed no such complexes/superstitions.
Teaching and medicine were the two options suggested to me by my grandmom too. India has a lot of respect for both these jobs for women!
I love 2, 5 & 6. I feel happiest relationships are those where both can communicate their feelings. I also don’t care for people’s opinion, so long as I know what I am doing… (or even otherwise I guess). And I am perfectly fine with male members in the family doing their share.
And picking up what one can seems only fair. Why bother somebody else when one can do it oneself? I am the same.
Good one…
Even though we had an arranged marriage, I was the one who asked my husband if he wanted to marry me…
I too don’t believe in wearing sindoor etc. to demonstrate marital status and fidelity…
Pull your (manly) collar up, lady! You rock as a sinner
I hate most housework chores too 
Loved this tag so much that it inspired even the tag-shirker like me
hmm.. actually, I am getting a little uncomfortable with this tag, as I read more and more of them.I am not particularly talking about your tag replies, but the kind of stereotypes a lot of us, bloggers have responded to….If we say, we like blue, or that we dont like pink, does it say something about the stereotypes that continue in our mind.Basically, I have a problem with us even being proud, of having done something supposedly manly…. i mean, does it even matter?
Another observation, that quite a number of these stereotypes are very “middle class”. If we would tell rural/tribal/”lower class” women, chances are, they would be baffled, that such stereotypes even exist….
You know, i dont mean to offend you… i just became a little uncomfortable:)
Love this tag! 6 out of the 10 things that you’ve mentioned here are things I guessed you would say
@R’s Mom - yeah, went and read yours later
@ Windowsiller/Starry - thanks!
@IHM - yeah, I do get that - the division into pink/blue is only representative. Picking up what one can - yeah - I also think women are commonly held to more fragile than they really are; physical strength after all varies from one person to another.
@Vidya - I’m usually a tag-shirker too, but this one appealed.
@ Bones - nice
@ Bombday dosti - don’t have to worry at all about offending me - you wouldn’t have even if you said you completely disliked the idea. Reg your points - yes, the stereotypes that we claim to abandon - the very fact that we are aware of them says something about us; on the other hand, how many women haven’t heard comments such as teaching being a ’suitable job’ or similar things? So, I’d say that it’s not just about us, it is about perceptions held by society. Coming to your second pt about all these being very middle class things - sure, yes, since it is a personal tag. However, I don’t think the concept itself would be alien to a rural woman. Even if you asked a rural woman, she would IMO be able to point out things that she has done which go against prevailing norms. In her case, it could be something like going to high school, or getting married after 15! So, the question is, what stereotypes exist? Naturally, these will vary from place to place, and one class to another.
@Uma - you know me too well
Will go read yours now.
1,3,8,9 - ditto!!