Link Time
Came across this article in the Hindustan Times on Trinidad & Tobago’s new Prime Minister, and - just look at that headline, “Indian-origin granny is PM of Trinidad’. Really? I mean, her being a granny is so critical to her achievement? They couldn’t find anything else to play up? Not that there is anything problematic with being a granny but quite why a female politician’s personal life/status should make the headlines when reporting on her win is beyond me. This would be like commenting on David Cameron’s win saying Father of 3 is UK PM! But of course, that won’t happen.
Another article, this one in an apparel & fashion blog, brings up the same-old-same-old, boring question, Were Indian Women Better Off as Homemakers? (Really, there should be a ban on this one!) The writer proceeds to answer his question with the following arguments:
1. We had our mother waiting for us at all times which played a very important role in our overall development.
2. Children, husband and home were in ‘harmony with life’ (whatever that means).
3. Divorce rates are rising now.
4. More nuclear families, hence security of the joint family missing.
5. Added responsibility for women since they have to manage both work and home.
Let’s dissect this a bit. Points No. 1 and 2 - children happy, husband happy, ‘home’ happy - what about the woman herself? No mention of that. Ah, I suppose this falls into the category of I live for my husband and children and don’t seek any happiness beyond that. Point 3 - yes, divorce rates are rising, but as I have argued before, divorce isn’t necessarily worse than an unhappy marriage. Which is what women were once forced to live with.
Point 4 - safety of the joint family - well, most adult women who have lived in joint families don’t have good things to say about them - the bickering, the politics, the one-sided control by ‘elders’. It’s only kids who have a rosy picture of joint families. Read the inimitable IHM’s post here on why young Indian women don’t like joint families.
and Point 5 - all the men who feel so sorry for women who have to balance the dual burden, here’s the thing - WHY DON’T YOU GET UP AND HELP?
Blah.
Finally, a lovely piece by Amrita on the hapless women of Indian Television, over at Women’s Web.
Oh yes, the nuclear families aren’t working because the husbands are stuck in the previous century. Gah!
I think the society is going through a change and men and women will take time to adjust.
Also, I feel the re-emergence of joint families might be step in the right direction
Starry - good one
I do think it’s true that women’s expectations are changing much faster - and naturally, those in a weaker position always have more appetite/incentive for change.
Chowlaji, I think the problem, as I said above, is that women are changing much faster - while men, for whom the traditional system offers more benefits, are more reluctant to change. As for the joint family system, I am not against taking care of one’s parents/the elderly, but it cannot be so lopsided…
Couldn’t leave a comment on Women’s Web….
Here’s what I was trying to post - ‘I happened to watch a few episodes of “Ladies Special’ and I thought it was nice, but I do plan to find the time to watch at least one episode of ‘Man ki awaaz pratigya’ now… maybe one should watch them to write about them, but I find them simply too nauseating.’
I agree with all the points here Apu. I think the traditional system worked (or survived) only because women had no choice. If the system was really fair to all the members concerned it would continue to be welcomed by those who kept the system going by giving up their freedom.
IHM - sorry about that; we were just transitioning to a different comment system, and you must have visited the site when it was happening. Reg joint family - yes - it’s basically a question of who is willing to make what trade-offs; evidently, many young women are not willing to give up their freedom for the benefits they receive; once can only say therefore that these benefits are no longer perceived as adequate.