Apu’s World

A court in Karnal, Haryana, today awarded the death penalty to 5 of 6 Khap Panchayat members accused (the 6th one got life imprisonment) in a honour killing case. Two young people - killed simply because a village decided that their marriage was not valid.

I am somewhat undecided on the whole issue of capital punishment, but I cannot help thinking that simply from a deterrent perspective, this can only be a good thing. About a week ago, I saw a programme on NewsX which covered the issue of honour killings in detail, mostly cases involving couples from the same gotra or village, which people in Haryana consider incestuous. (NewsX btw, is one of the few news channels in the current milieu that makes a sincere attempt to avoid sensationalism and get into the details of an issue, so do give it a try if if you haven’t before.)

Many of those interviewed for that program were from villages in Haryana and they had no qualms in admitting before the camera that such marriages were ‘wrong’ and death was a fair punishment. They also bragged that they would prefer to go to jail rather than countenance such marriages. What was startling to see was that even the younger members of Khap panchayats, in their 30s, justified such punishments. Mention tradition, and it’s all good, of course.  I could not help thinking that the reason they were so blase about it was because they knew that the chances of their being successfully prosecuted were very low.

In many cases, both families are involved in the killing, so who would pursue the case? Then, even if someone does, there is immense pressure and social ostracism that makes them give up the case midway. Our super-slow judicial system adds to the low conviction rate. Effectively, most killers get away.

With this verdict, at least the courts have sent out a strong signal that this need not be the case.

apu Other Social issues in India

I have been watching all the furore over the Women’s Reservation Bill, but not really said anything about it, perhaps because my thinking on the issue is a little muddled. I do believe that in the current political climate, women need additional support to enter and succeed in politics, but I am not sure if reservation is the best way to do it. Perhaps it is one of many things that needs to be done, including within-party reforms.

But, something else that I have been thinking about relates closely to this issue of so-called ’special treatment’ for women. This is the issue of maternity leave. Thankfully, maternity leave is not legally an issue in India, although it is still too short. That doesn’t mean it is not an issue in practice. Firms in the organized sector will not normally deny a woman maternity leave, though they may very well avoid hiring women of a certain age (the 24-32 age group seen as at ‘high risk’ of pregnancy).

Two questions which I have often heard are, if you claim to be equal, why are you asking for special treatment in the form of maternity leave?  Why should the company fund your personal choice to have children? These are two different issues, so let me break down my thoughts accordingly. In fact, to avoid too long a post, I will address only the first issue in this one.

Why “special” leave if you claim to be equal, is a question often thrown at women. This question assumes one important thing : that the norm is ‘no-maternity leave’ and therefore asking for maternity leave is a ‘deviation’, a call for ’special treatment.’ But, here’s the thing; assuming a norm of ‘no-maternity leave needed’ is a fundamentally biased one. It is a norm based on a situation where the workplace is entirely comprised of biological males who do not need maternity leave.

But, here’s the thing too : 50% of this planet’s citizens are women. What if we and our bodies were the norm? Looking at it this way, suddenly, maternity leave doesn’t seem like an aberration. Women’s bodies carry children, and those bodies need a period of rest before/after delivery, plus time off until the baby is weaned. That’s a biological fact. Workplaces have never been built taking into account the fact of women’s bodies or their lives. For e.g. transfer policies in most government departments in our country were laid down for a prototype male worker, whose non-working wife and children would simply move when he had to.

If 50% of the world’s occupants - women, were assumed as the norm, the situation would be very different. For those of you who still cannot quite picture how often men are simply assumed as the norm, flip the situation around. Let’s assume a new men’s bathroom is being fitted out, and a purchase request is placed for urinals. The Head of Purchase, who has to approve all requests, turns it down saying, “What! Why do you need standing-up urinals? Can’t you just sit down and pee, like we do? What is it with you men and your special requests?”

Today, this is what happens to women. Fundamental facts about our bodies and our lives, are treated as aberrations, simply because we are not treated as the norm. Equality doesn’t just mean treating us the same way as men. Equality also means that our needs are taken equally into consideration when the rules by which things work are drawn up.

apu Women & Feminism

Recently, a few friends have been asking us for tips on travelling to Europe on a budget, and doing it independently. This is perhaps because most Indians still prefer to travel abroad as part of a group (less planning and hassle, assurance of Indian food etc) - a couple of years ago, the husband and I visited the UK, France and the Netherlands by ourselves, and therefore have a bit of a reputation as “adventurous” travellers!

Be that as it may, one of the issues with travelling independently is that unlike an “all-inclusive” tour group where you have a fair idea of the cost, here you must figure out on your own how to stick to your budget. With the Indian rupee stretching very little in these parts, it is easy to overshoot your budget and end up breaking the bank.

Since June-August is the biggest season in most of Europe, it’s a good idea to start planning now if you want to visit any European country this year. Besides the well-known tips such as using Eurail passes for extensive travelling and eating at roadside cafes rather than restaurants, here are some suggestions for the budget-conscious Indian traveller, based on my experience.

Rather than focusing purely on how to skimp, these are ideas to have fun while saving money.

Edge of season. The European summer itself is a little later than ours, and many local people tend to take their vacations in June-July. But, there is no reason why you shouldn’t travel a little earlier, or later. Travelling in end April, for instance, will mean that you may catch a bit of leftover winter - balmy evenings and nights, but nothing that the average Indian can’t handle. Prices, in particular, air and rail fares tend to be cheaper, and you get better deals on hotel accommodation from owners wanting to fill up inventory.

Go rural. Most Indian tourists run through a “must-do” list of large European cities - London, Paris, Rome, Venice, Vienna, Zurich, Amsterdam and so on. When one is spending a tidy amount on air travel, it is indeed tempting to do all the ‘big sights’. But, these are also the most expensive places in terms of accommodation, food and entry tickets to monuments. Instead, pick a maximum of 2-3 countries for a 3 week tour and plumb for depth - most European countries are so small (by our standards) that you can easily visit, say, Paris and then dash off for a few days to Bordeaux or Dijon. You get a completely different view of the country by visiting rural areas, not to mention the huge difference in prices.

To give you an idea, a tiny double room in any of the central eight arrondisements of Paris, with complementary breakfast will not cost you anything less than 80 euros per night; in contrast, in Riquewihr village in the Alsace region of France, the princely sum of 55 euros netted us a handsome bedroom, a private sitting room and a beautiful private patio in which to have our complementary breakfast. Saving this amount of money on accomodation also meant that we could sample the local food a lot more in Alsace and even treat ourselves one night at a comfortable restaurant. (And believe me, when you’ve been living on baguettes and cheese, you will want that occasional treat).

In rural areas, people also have more time to stop and chat, there are more enchanting views than in the cities and no shortage of things to do - most European small towns have their own resident castle/tower/ old church/museum, besides specialties such as wine-making, a special style of pottery and so on. For the children, there is the added fun of more open spaces, or perhaps a pony ride or even a ball game in a local park. Coastal villages have the added fun of beautiful beaches, though they do usually tend to be more expensive than inland ones.

Do a picnic. Eating in large European cities is expensive. No getting around it. If you don’t want to eat at a McDonald’s or Burger King (and we didn’t), expect to pay anything from up 7 pounds in a city like London. Add the price of water and 15-20 pounds for every meal for 2 people adds up to a lot in the course of 2-3 weeks. And these are cafe/pub prices, not even restaurant prices, which would be even steeper. If you don’t want boring chain restaurant food and the cafe prices are getting to you, what’s to do?

One option is to pack yourself a picnic lunch occasionally. The lunch itself could be basic - visit the supermarket the evening before and pack up a loaf of bread with cheese or some wraps and filling (you get a lot of these options at reasonable prices). Perhaps add in a little fruit or some flavoured yoghurt.

Now the interesting bit - figure out your route for the day and then pick a picturesque location for lunch. Wouldn’t it be nice to enjoy your simple meal watching the ducks at St. James Park or in the beautifully maintained formal gardens at the Tuileries after a tiring visit to the Louvre? A little planning can make it so much more enjoyable, all for under 10-12 euros (9-11 pounds) for 2 people.

Find out what “local” is. Like I said earlier, food is a big expense while travelling in Europe. If you’re the sort of person who wants to try local food, the price can be a deterrent. But, local food can be many different things. Because of their colonial history, many European countries have a tradition of good food from other places. In the UK, this would be Indian food - in France, food from the “Indo-China” regions, in the Netherlands - Indonesian. In Germany, I believe there is a fairly strong presence of Turkish restaurants. Many of these are also now local food, and indeed, you see a lot of locals eating at these places, often in non-touristy locations. When one is craving something hot and spicy, a Vietnamese meal from a small cafe can be the perfect option - large portions, filling and reasonably priced. This is particularly important for Indians, since our foods tend to be gravy based and we soon tire of standard European options.

Check for free events. The really popular shows, for instance at the Lido or Moulin Rouge in Paris, come at astronomical prices - often 75 euros upwards! If you can’t afford these (and we couldn’t), don’t despair - check online for free events during your visit or with local (usually free) city guides. These may not be as famous, but can be plenty fun in their own way. Places like London’s well-known Covent Garden offer plenty of live entertainment at very reasonable prices or even on a pay-what-you-like basis.

Put together your own walk. Most large cities offer guided walks, especially through historical districts. IMO, these are actually worth the fee, since they come with knowledgeable guides. However, if you are the sort who likes planning, why not put together your own walk? Considering the amount of information there is online, all you need is a good map and some back-stories of the places you plan to visit en-route.

Now, for some more ‘functional’ but useful tips.

Drink tap water. In most cities, it’s good enough, but if in doubt, check with the concierge at your hotel. Fill a bottle or two each morning before you set out. Bottled water is ridiculously expensive.

Eat a good breakfast. Most hotels and B&Bs include the breakfast in your room rate, so make good use of it. Eat a filling breakfast so that you can get by on a light, snacky lunch. This also ensures that you are not too sleepy in the afternoon.

Check the budget airlines. While rail travel from one city/country to another usually gives you the best views, rail is not always cheaper. Airlines like Ryanair and Easyjet sometimes offer crazily low prices. The hitch? Check out if the airports you are landing at (smaller ones, usually) have bus/rail connectivity to the town you are heading for, especially at early morning/late night. Taxi fares can really make a big dent in that budget.

Weather essentials. If you anticipate rain/cold weather, make sure you carry a collapsible umbrella/jacket/ woollen socks/mittens. Having to buy these abroad can be expensive. Ditto sunscreen for warm weather.

One advice I would give anyone travelling to Europe is to start thinking in Euros well ahead. Plan your budget in Euros, not rupees. So, if what you can spend is Rs.10,000 a day, before the trip, fix this amount - 160 euros per day; thereon, stop thinking of the euro-rupee conversion. If all your expenses fall under 160 euros a day, you’re doing good. This helps you avoid sticker-price shock (OMG! 10 euros for a meal! That’s more than Rs. 600!) and plan better. It also helps you avoid constantly thinking of how much you’re spending and how much cheaper it would be back home.

After all, you’re in Europe for a reason, and that is to enjoy yourself. So, fix your budget in Euros, use the many tips available in this article and elsewhere - spend wisely, and don’t get obsessed with saving money.

apu Travel Tales

This blog is on a short break, along with its owner. In Delhi for a wedding in the family with side trips to Amritsar and Agra.

Also, this blog has just crossed a nice, tidy little milestone - 25,000 visitors. So, a big thank you to all those of you who read me, whether or not you participate/comment. Thank You! And, to all my female readers, a happy women’s day!

apu In General

Recently on Facebook, an acquaintance put up a status message that read, “I have never ever paid for meals when in the company of men, and I won’t, not even on Women’s Day.”

On reading her note and that of commentors, to say that I was surprised would be an understatement. Both male and female commentors seemed to agree. Among the comments were ‘long live chivalry’, ‘like to feel pampered’, and ‘A Man Who Lets Women Pay Is Not Man Enough’ (this last one, from a guy).

I placed a note there that I disagreed, but FB didn’t seem like the place to get into a long discussion. Hence this post…

I do have a major problem with the whole idea of chivalry, of which expecting men to pay is one. This doesn’t mean that I’ve never let a man pay for a coffee or lunch. Sure, I have, but on the other hand, I’ve also footed mine and his bill a number of times, and I don’t see why not.

To me, chivalry is part of the whole big idea of what a man should do and what a woman should do - in short the rigid codification of social rules for men and women. A man must pay, a woman should never. If we are sweeping away such rigidity in every other area of life, why persist here?

This rule made sense in an age when women rarely ever had their own money; naturally, men had to pay. Today, when I earn as well as most men of my acquaintance, I don’t see why anyone else should necessarily pay for me. Pampering doesn’t come into it - of course, most people like to be pampered once in a while, but that doesn’t mean you never pay for any meal with a guy. Plus, many such meals/coffees could be with guys I only know peripherally - I don’t see why they need to pamper me.

Expecting a guy to always foot the bill is also unfair - what if the guy is low on cash at the end of the month? Will he not feel uncomfortable saying that? In any case, it’s his hard-earned money too - why does he have to spend it on me?

Expecting a guy to foot the bill always is to me like expecting a guy to open the door or give up his seat for me. I don’t want special treatment because I’m a woman, but I do want courteous treatment as everyone in a civilized society should expect. Which means, everybody, male or female should offer a seat to a pregnant woman, disabled women and men, old women and old men.

I see some disconnect with demanding equality if we are not going to also take up an equal share of responsibilities. Mind, I don’t mean one has to strictly divide the bill into two each time - but, you get the general idea!

apu Women & Feminism