Apu’s World

Occasionally, one comes across a movie that is both an exceptionally clear mirror to the society it is about and an extremely fine work of art. The Circle, only the second Iranian movie I’ve seen, I believe falls into this category. (This first one was Children of Heaven). 

The Circle, (’Dayereh’ in the original Farsi) doesn’t really have a plot, unlike most films. Rather, it is a peek into the lives of a few Iranian women, and this is the interesting bit - we enter their stories neither at the ‘beginning’, nor at the ‘end’, but at some unspecified point in the arc of their lives. What is common to all of them is the challenges that they face, mostly as a result of being women in the highly repressive society that is Iran. 

Three women have been released (or escaped) from prison, it wasn’t clear to me which. One of them gets re-arrested for some reason while the other two struggle to collect some money to send the younger one of them home. She manages to get a bus ticket with great difficulty, since a young woman without a student card or a guardian isn’t really allowed to travel alone. After much persuasion, she gets the ticket, but abandons the journey when she realises that police are around and fears detection. We don’t know what becomes of her ultimately. 

Another woman who has also been released from prison is kicked out by her family and goes searching for other friends she had made in the prison. Soon, we realise that she is pregnant and urgently needs an abortion. She goes to meet an old friend, who is now a nurse and has successfully concealed her time spent in prison from everyone, including her husband. Her hopes of getting some help from this friend are soon dashed. Society will neither let her have a child as a single mother, nor let her abort it. 

We see her walking around despondently when one of the most chilling scenes of the movie occurs - a poor, single mother trying to abandon her child so that someone else would take her in for a better life. Finally, the movie comes back full circle to one of the first stories, and this woman is now in prison. In none of the cases do we see a ‘happy ending’ or even an unhappy one. Throughout the movie, I kept having this ominous feeling that something terrible was about to happen and though there is no such ‘event’, in a sense, all the stories are quite terrible. Yet, the movie didn’t feel like an immersion in misery. 

The camaraderie among the women, the palpable affection, the occasional laughter, even optimism among some of them, made it seem lighter than the dark story that it really was. For, when one thinks that there really are such places in the world for women; the reality is depressing. 

apu Media-Movies-Ads, Women & Feminism

Just a note, the 70th Carnival of Feminists is up. Happy Weekend Reading!

apu Women & Feminism

“How does equality NOT get stretched too far? By accepting a little equality and an occasional inequality?
As in we will allow a daughter in law to visit her parents but only twice a year…? 
As in we will allow the first child to be a baby girl, but second daughters not allowed? Or as in we will permit you to work but we will not help with house work”

The prolific Indian Homemaker has a fantastic post on women who make hot chapaties and wait while the rest of the family eats. A must-read, especially for all those who say that these are “small things”; the IHM explains why it’s not about ‘hot-hot chapatis’. 

apu Women & Feminism

Recently, a friend of mine mentioned that she was planning to start up a Women Entrepreneur’s Group in Bangalore, and asked me if I’d like to join up. Now, I am a woman and I am self-employed, so I do fit the definition, but something held me back from giving a very enthusiastic response. I wondered whether women as entrepreneurs faced distinct and unique challenges which created the need for such a group. After all, generating funding, identifying a market, attracting customers, sustaining cash flow - these are issues that all entrepreneurs must face. I did however see one point in such a group. 

Women in white collar jobs (the audience for this group) often do not have the same networking opportunities that men do. Numerically, men usually outnumber women by a large factor, in most industries. Men tend to go out together for a drink or generally hang out in informal circles, where women usually are not that comfortable (except in some fairly progressive industries such as media or advertising, where gender doesn’t seem to make such a difference). Women therefore get lesser exposure to new ideas, trends, important people who can help make deals or even just to industry gossip. A women’s networking group can then, in a sense help to introduce women entrepreneurs to others in related industries and throw open some opportunities which don’t come by so easily. 

There could also be some subjects that appeal mainly to women. Balancing a business with a family, for instance is not a topic that most Indian men are likely to be concerned with, at the moment. A networking group may not really “help” in such an area, but women entrepreneurs may find it useful to talk to others in a similiar situation. 

My friend also told me that one reason she was starting a women-specific group was that other existing networking groups in the city, often met at times inconvenient for women with families. And this is where I started thinking whether a networking group would really make much of a difference. While not denying that women have fewer opportunities to network, I wonder if women’s progress in a workplace or at their own businesses is held back not so much by lack of networking, as by the fact that women are usually the sole care-givers for children. As long as women see themselves as the sole (or primary) care-giver of children, and familial as well as societal expectations also support this, will it matter much even if convenient timings are found? 

Even those women who come back to full-time jobs or run their own businesses may find themselves holding back due to home commitments. Socialising with colleagues or meeting a potential new client in the evening may take a backseat if the children are waiting at home. Any time can be a bad time for networking, simply because childcare often is a full-time job. And this really is the key difference between men’s and women’s career paths : It’s not just that men are better at networking (perhaps because there are more men around) or that they get more opportunities at it; it’s simply that men can more easily afford the time to do it. As Deb over at In a Strange Land puts it, women need wives too!

apu Entrepreneurship, Women & Feminism

Her name was Manju. His name was Manju.

She lay in the general ward of the Bowring hospital, on a wrought iron bed and a mattress a little thicker than a well made paratha. He ran from place to place, looking for a relative who had not yet heard.

Her mind and body were on one frequency. Thousands of receptor cells acted in conjunction, flooding her nerves, making sure that her brain blocked out every signal but pain. Occasionally, she sensed that many different people came to visit her but her brain urged away the awareness almost as soon as it dawned. Pain was a jealous companion.

His mind was split on two different axes. He was afraid, of course. Anyone would be, if the police was pursuing them so doggedly. Curse the television channels! It was they who were publicising the case relentlessly. But he was also a little proud. He had proved that he was a man. The whore had asked for it, hadn’t she?

 

She used to study at the University, the first girl in her family to do an M.A. Her parents were persuading her to get married. He used to work at his cousin’s bike repair shop. His parents had tried to get him to pass his twelfth, but he didn’t see the point in it.

One day, she had come to his shop to get her moped repaired. Her father, a class D government employee had bought her the second-hand bike when she passed her graduation, though her mother had protested that the girl was receiving too much freedom. He believed that he had fallen in love with her on their very first meeting. Hadn’t she thanked him so nicely when he had replaced the punctured tube? He had followed her that day, watching as she entered the University gates.

She had asked him to go away when he stood outside the gate the next day. Gently. She wasn’t scared. She believed that a good word could handle most people. He left but he was thrilled. She must like him, she must. She would come around when she knew how much he loved her. Didn’t they share a name? That could not be a coincidence.

 

She began to fear, as he followed her, the next day, and the next day and then, everyday. He began to feel more confident. It was just a question of time.

When her exams got over, she told her parents that she was willing to meet the boys that they had been pestering her to see. He told his parents that they must go and ask her parents for her hand.  

She liked one of the boys. He had a government job and his family didn’t mind her going out to work. She was ecstatic. She was sure that she would go on to be a lecturer. He slapped his mother when she got back from the meeting and told him that her parents had no intention of getting her married to a school dropout. He was outraged. How could she deceive him?

She began shopping for her wedding clothes. He got his lab attendant friend to buy him a bottle of sulphuric acid.

 

She had no thought for him as she lay in the hospital. Once, she felt anger flooding through her body, but soon, pain forced it out. In some time, there would be anger and helplessness and even disgust when she looked at her charred face, but not now. He thought of her endlessly, for the first few days, as he skulked at his mama’s house, but when the FIR was filed and they flashed his picture on the news, he was driven out. Driven from house to house, he soon discovered that he could not keep her tight. Soon, all his thoughts were on himself as he was hunted like an animal and he feared for his life if he was taken into police custody. In a week, she seemed like a dream, a nebulous vision that he had a long time ago and could no longer quite clearly remember. 

apu In General, Original Fiction