Apu’s World

Some time ago, we had a lazy and fulfilling weekend in Shimoga; an account of that has been published by The Hindu this week - you can read it here.

apu Travel Tales

An most useful piece over at the F-Word on how treating (most) childcare leave as maternal leave reinforces existing gender stereotypes on who should be doing it. It’s in the British context, but of course, it’s relevant to us as well. I think just by allowing fathers to take time off, in the Indian context, we’re not going to see a spate of men rushing to take on childcare. There are other factors including definitions of masculinity as well as fear of what ‘others will say’. However, it will atleast make it easier for those men who are already beyond such worries and would like to play a much more active role in child-rearing.

Also, if large, well-known companies were to do this, it would send some sort of signal to society, that there is no shame in a man choosing to spend time caring for the family. As more employed men are seen taking on this role, there will be more men who understand that you can work outside home and yet make time for childcare, and it’s not because you are a loser. As things stand today, even the few men who would like to stay home and take a break caring for the kids, can’t really do it, because there is no such legal provision; a man who wanted to do this today, would pretty much have to quit his job, except in a very few companies that allow sabbaticals.

Currently, as the law stands, men can take a break of upto 15 days, though I think this is mainly for government and related organisations. This is only meant for the father to support the mother in the initial days after delivery - it is really not childcare leave; Should the mother want to go back to work 4 months after the delivery and the father step in to take care of the child for some time - currently, not possible. Some IT/other new economy industries, I heard, had begun offering some paternity leave but there is nothing mandatory. Our slow-moving governments of course will take another decade to look into issues like this. There will be the usual arguments about economic loss etc, but doesn’t that stem from a lopsided view of the world where it assumes that it is ‘natural’ for men to work and earn while women ‘can’ work if they want to, but ultimately, we know where their place really is?

apu Women & Feminism

Thanks to World Movies, I’m getting to watch different cinema from different countries. Last night, I stayed up late, watching this Palestinian-Arabic movie, Paradise Now. Set in Nablus, a small town on the West Bank, it is the story of two men recruited as suicide bombers against (what they see as) the unethical and brutal Israeli occupation. I mentioned ‘what they see as’, because, while I do believe that the Palestinians were originally unjustly pushed out of their land, their tactics haven’t always been ethical or practical either.

I found that the movie did a good job of putting a very human face to the two suicide bombers - at the same time, I didn’t get the feeling that it condoned violence. If anything, Sara, a girl that one of the bombers likes, is the voice of an alternate view, that it is possible to resist without taking recourse to violence. It is easy to see what attracts the young men to violence - living in depressing, prison-like conditions, lacking the means to better their lives, the shame of having been ‘conquered’. The contrast between shiny Tel Aviv and falling-apart Nablus is stark.

The ‘leaders’ of the resistance promise the young men, Sa’id and Khaled glory, a place in paradise and the assurance that their families will be taken care of. One of the most disconcerting moments in the movie was when Khaled presents his farewell ‘martyrs’ speech to a video camera, and the man who recruits him munches away on the sandwiches that Khaled’s mother has packed that morning. Scenes like this helped to make the resistance fighters somewhat ambiguous figures - driven by patriotism, but also perhaps by self-interest and a hankering for fame in a very narrowly defined world?

What was missing was an Israeli counter-view, but then, perhaps it would have been difficult to humanise the suicide bombers, if seen from the eyes of their adversaries? I’m not going to reveal the end, but it was interesting for its lack of certainty. Watch this one if you can. (Later on, I figured that it was nominated for and won some Oscars as well).

apu Media-Movies-Ads

Say what now? Me with my Indian passport and brown skin - you think I’m Western? Well, in the wake of the Mumbai attacks, politicians have unearthed till-now-undiscovered depths of idiocy within themselves, and one suspects that those depths may be bottomless indeed. First, Maharashtra (then) Deputy CM RR Patil shot off his mouth about a small incident. Then, Kerala CM Achuthanandan managed to get his hoof-in-his-mouth.

One Congress break-away group, and one Communist down; should the Right be far behind? Not to be outdone, BJP Vice-President Mukhtar Abbas Naqvi compared women showing solidarity with the Mumbai victims and protesting against government inefficiency, to terrorists in J&K. He didn’t miss the chance to comment on the (pernicious) effects of Paschami Sabhyata (a.k.a Western Culture) which is what drove these women to wear lipstick and jeans, and oh how dare they, come out of the house they belonged, to the street where they have no place.

Read Reema’s piece on the whole absurd affair, where she questions:

“Mr.Naqvi, kindly clarify first what exactly is the western culture aspect in the protests? Is it the candle lighting or the makeup of women protesters or the act of protest itself?”

apu Women & Feminism

Have y’all been seeing the new Moov ad and been as intrigued by it as I am? No? Ok, first go have a look here, and then you can read what I have to say.

For those who can’t follow Hindi, this is how it goes. Young boy sees mother struggling to cope with a heavy load of groceries and rushes to help her. Father sees this and runs down the stairs - focus on why his child is doing such heavy work. Then, son asks, “Papa, sab kaam Mummy kyon karti hai?” (Papa, why does Mummy do all the work?)

I found it interesting that finally, there is a brand that chooses to focus on something real in women’s lives - that housework can be drudgery and housework can be tiring. That it’s not all about women overjoyed to be serving the best parathas to their family or rejoicing at having saved the two rupees on that washing powder or superwoman holding up career and home like Hanuman carrying the Sanjeevini. And, it’s also interesting that this view is presented through the eyes of the kid, who sees it for what it really is, Mummy sab kaam kyon karti hai?

Now, camera flashes to the faces of two other women who’ve been shown before - one drying clothes and another serving tea. I wasn’t clear what this is meant to be; neighbours eavesdropping on the conversation? Other women in the family who are actually the ones being (subtly) chided for not helping in? If it is the first, then it’s a nuclear family, and it is really Papa who is not pulling his weight. If the second, well, then that’s an easy way to let the men off, isn’t it, and put the blame back where it belongs, on other lazy women.

In any case, the ad doesn’t dwell on it. So, we have caring husband bringing out the Moov and a voiceover tell us that it’s good to use Moov, lest, Aap ka dard apnon ka dard na ban jaaye. (So that your pain doesn’t become a pain for your loved ones).

It was too good to last of course. Homemaker couldn’t possibly use Moov to make herself feel alright; there has to be a ‘family’ pay-off in it. I wonder if the ad could have still been as effective and more women-friendly if they had atleast shown the husband picking up a bag at the end rather than the woman using Moov so that she can be a martyr to housework again? I think society is changing and the days when women would gasp at the husband doing household chores is gone, well, going slowly. Perhaps marketers actually don’t see this change, or just want to keep it to the most conservative level and play safe.

(In other news, the fiery tamilpunkster is back after a long break. And read Mrinal Pande’s column in the Mint earlier this week, Women still unhappy both in India and Bharat, where she talks about the challenges that working women, especially those from poor families face.)

apu Media-Movies-Ads, Women & Feminism