Safe at Home ?
You would be safe, if only you didn’t wear such inappropriate clothes. They attract attention, you know. You go to unsafe areas, what else can you expect? You go out too late, without a man to accompany you, surely there will be trouble. You go to places that are too crowded, or too isolated. You travelled by bus, or train, or your own car, it was bound to happen. You’re too young to be travelling alone, and you’re too old. You look modern. You look timid. You were walking too fast, or too slowly. And you, you’re just being too adventurous.
Does all of this sound familiar?
It is stated explicitly or implied constantly, that the safest thing for a woman to do is just stay home and avoid the outside world. Giving the lie to that myth is the latest National Family Health survey, which reveals, just how safe women are at home.
- Related Posts You May Like
- No license to rape
- Demonstrating Marriage
- The Diamond Carnival of Feminists
You talk of domestic violence and i agree that a woman’s safety in her own house at the hands of her husband is questionable. Incest and rape within the four walls of a seemingly secure house add to their misery. She is constantly expected to prove her worth at every step. Her character, chastity etc. are questioned.But against these odds is not woman proving to be strong? Unfair criticism is annoying but one should learn to ignore it.
OMG! Tell me about all the times I have argued this out with various men, our right to dress up as we please (because who is to say what provokes and what does not?) and the resounding argument is this “If you leave all your doors and windows open, then yes, a thief is going to break in and steal and you cannot complain about it then because it is your fault” ANd follow this up with a justification about how it is women who always provoke men, butter won’t melt in their mouths!
Padmaji, yes, many women are proving to be strong and questioning the way “things have always been done”. However, one of the saddest things (to me) in that report was the statistic that ‘more than half of all Indian women believed that husbands could beat wives if they had *an appropriate reason*.’ So, perhaps things are not changing as fast as we would like to believe.
Laksh - I’ve always felt that since (some) men claim to be so easily provoked/’led’ astray, it would be good if they wore a blindfold a la Gandhari, or even better, if such paragons just stayed at home!
Thanks for the link to the article. A recent event that happened in Michigan prompted me to post about this issue. And I came across your blog and the statistics you had linked to and linked it in my post.
What upsets me about the whole issue is the repeated yield/adjust/accept/it happens message that keeps getting sent out. And this whole bubble of denial only adds to the woes.
Vidya, you’re welcome. It’s sad that we keep hearing such messages, including from people in government. I guess it’s upto each of us to keep clarifying.