Some days ago, at a function, a distant relative was gently ribbing me and my husband as to who was responsible for cooking at home. Specifically, he was taking a few shots at my expense, that I must be ‘making’ my husband do all the cooking. Most of this was inconsequential small talk; I doubt this relative really cares about who cooks at our place or whether we cook at all. I didn’t take it seriously or feel riled. Still, behind these jokes are some notions so ingrained that we have a hard time recognizing them. The joke exists because the notion exists that a woman must be an excellent cook, devoted to feeding her family.
Read the rest, over at Ultra Violet…
Posted on September 2nd, 2008 by apu
Filed under: Feminism in my life
Are there any handsome, aware, progressive, financially independent men in India who are living alone and not too attached to their mothers, who are good cooks to boot?
I have a few friends looking….
Hah! I was writing a post on marriage and cooking!
But I will write it out sometime… my views are very similar to yours, though my experience seems to have been somewhat different.
HP - In my own experience, the number of progressive men in India is not insignificant…though not exactly large either…when you add cooking to the skillsets needed though, it drops dramatically, simply because many men come from families which never allowed them to do anything in the kitchen…
Unmana - marriage and cooking - somehow so intertwined, are they not!
Indeed! At least - everyone seems to think so! I pride myself on having a progressive marriage, am proud that the Guy is so involved in housework and enjoys cooking - yet I am usually reluctant to say so in public because I’m afraid of inviting derisive stares!
“am proud that the Guy is so involved in housework and enjoys cooking - yet I am usually reluctant to say so in public because I’m afraid of inviting derisive stares!”
Use the oppurtunity to chide such persons because they are so retro!
Or tease them that not only does he cook, he cooks in bed too…
What does YOUR pati do in bed?
I found when I was in India it was sooooooooooo easy to wind Indians up and get their goat, they are just so uptight about certain things.
I found it hilarious and much fun!
@ HP and @ Apu:
These men do exist.
I know a whole bunch of them. And their wives
yes, Shefaly, I do see progress even if the pace is not entirely to mmy satisfaction!