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Addressing the husband

I suppose none of you (in India) have escaped the recent series of Airtel ads - Vidya Balan and Madhavan as a couple in various situations? I quite like some of them, for the way they manage to integrate product features with a story. I caught something peculiar about one of them yesterday. Remember the ad where Vidya is on her way home and she asks Madhavan to organise things because guests are arriving? No? Well, you can watch it at the Airtel site here.

Somehow, I saw this ad in both Hindi and Tamizh yesterday. It’s interesting that in the Hindi ad, Vidya tells Madhavan, “Salad bana doge?” The unsaid pronoun of course is “tum”, the “you” used for equals/peers. But, in the Tamizh version, the unsaid pronoun used (across a few sentences), is “neenga”, theĀ ”you” used for elders, in formal situations, to convey respect and of course the you normally prescribed for women to use with their husbands. Interesting, is it not? I thought of a couple of options.

One, Tamizh women indeed have a greater preference for addressing their husbands using the formal pronoun, as compared to North Indian women who have shifted to using the casual one. Two, marketers think that Tamizh women are likely to continue using the formal pronoun, whereas North Indian relationships have all become more egalitarian. Which of these two is correct? Or is it neither, and the advertising agency just thought of ‘North’ with hip South Delhi and ‘South’ as conservative and unchanging?

English of course doesn’t allow for these subtleties; a you is a you is a you. But how about other European languages? French for instance does have it’s “tu” and “vous.” In medieval France, did women address their husbands as “vous”? In India, I feel this may have originated because earlier, it was quite common for a man to be much older than his wife, and of course we are taught to speak to elders respectfully. Today, however, with the age gap narrowing down, I don’t think it will continue beyond another generation, though I do see parents who feel “so hurt” if their darling son is addressed without an “aap”. (Those who want to rush in and tell me that there is nothing wrong with addressing people respectfully, please save your breath; I have no issues with it, except that such respect is usually reserved for the male of the pair.)

p.s While the ad shows Vidya requesting her husband to help with a bunch of small chores at home, there is a mild hesitation in her smile and tone, as though she is aware of the “favor” she is asking. I thought that was actually done fairly realistically, but it does say something, doesn’t it!

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  1. July 11th, 2008 at 01:39 | #1

    trust u to catch something like this

    i love thr ads though - both of them being among my favourite actors.

    i wonder if i could address navy as neenga but i think he would freak!!

  2. July 11th, 2008 at 04:50 | #2

    Hmmm. Haven’t seen the ad in Telugu. Must keep eyes peeled. But yes, I’ve noticed that there is this perception that down south people are more conservative on these ones. Notice, however - the woman massaging the man back home from work is a stereotype that probably works for both north and south!!

  3. July 11th, 2008 at 20:36 | #3

    Art, SS - as I mentioned, I did quite like the ads; but yes - what struck me was the differences in the way South and North Indian women are seen, rather than the practice itself.

    On a related note, I was watching a recent Tamizh movie yesterday, Santosh Subramanian (I believe its Bommarilu in Telegu) - two of the characters are supposedly college friends who’ve got married AND the girl still addresses the guy as “neenga” - now, isn’t that totally weird!!!

  4. July 12th, 2008 at 07:10 | #4

    Apu

    I saw a couple of these ads on TV when I was recently in India.

    As a North Indian, whom Bangaloreans could spot from a mile, I have to say that both Vidya Balan and Madhavan are terribly ‘South Indian’ as far as I am concerned. I think a random poll may show similar perception biases. So what were they selling again? :-)

  5. July 12th, 2008 at 07:11 | #5

    Anyway since the South Indian language ads are likely to be not understood by North Indians, are these ads not implying that South Indian women _should_ address men with more respect whereas _approving_ in a manner of speaking a more egalitarian approach for the North Indian women? That message would upset me more than inherent assumptions. It is about persuasion is it not?

  6. July 13th, 2008 at 21:08 | #6

    Shefaly - reg the first point, well, Vidya Balan isn’t really “associated” with the South so far as I know, even if her origin is. (Is it?) Personally, I see it as a good thing - maybe we are moving away from the idea of the North as “default”? Second point - in any case, these Tamizh ads are shown exclusively on tamizh channels, so North Indians would be unlikely to see them. They do “create” a more conservative social setting for the South - and its not just this ad - Tamizh movies themselves seem unable to come out this warped mindset.

  7. July 20th, 2008 at 19:04 | #7

    Hi Apu,

    Just came across your blog & loved reading some your entries! :)

    Btw, I did watch the Airtel adverts when I was in India last month. At first I thought they were incredibly corny (especially the “No, you hang up first” ad). But then I guess there would be millions of couples who would identify with these two guys, there’s something very natural abt the whole ad.

  8. July 21st, 2008 at 05:28 | #8

    Radha, thanks. Corniness is excusable since it’s a question of taste I suppose! But, I sometimes wonder if ads reflect traditional mentality, or they simply want to appeal to the lowest common denominator and therefore portray women as traditional, even if we are moving ahead?

  9. July 26th, 2008 at 07:17 | #9

    Apu,

    Nice post! Quite an interesting point you bring up here. Like you said, the pronoun issue may not last beyond another a couple of generations.

    I remember coming across a very interesting theory in a course on indian social systems. Marriages were very often used as a means of conquest in north India, whereas it was more often used as a means to keep property (esp land) within the community down south. Apparently, that difference in mindset contributes to women in South India being more “liberated” than their northern counterparts. I don’t have enough data to comment on whether or not this still holds. But it’s an interesting counterpoint to the assumption you think the ad might be making.

    ~r

  10. July 27th, 2008 at 20:40 | #10

    Ramsu, yes, thats an interesting point…perhaps the kinship marriages in the South (still very common today in some areas) are an indicator of the need to keep property within the community? I don’t see it necessarily as South Indian women being more liberated though due to such pressures…perhaps the higher level of education has something to do with it?

  11. July 29th, 2008 at 03:29 | #11

    I think the point the theory was making was that with kinship marriages, the girl goes into a household she already knows and has probably been familiar with since her childhood. So there’s a certain comfort level that is not present in cases where the girl enters an entirely alien household. It is the comfort level that translates so a slightly more liberated atmosphere. I don’t know if the theory holds even today, but it probably made a fair bit of sense a few decades ago.

    You may be right about the education aspect: it is quite likely to have made some difference.

    ~r

  12. Chevalier
    July 30th, 2008 at 14:36 | #12

    This will sound dismissive, but it isn’t intended to diminish the concern you’ve brought up:
    Based on my experience with working in CPG advertising in India, this difference is more or less random. We’d come up with a ad in English/Hindi, test it, and modify/approve it. after finalizing the TV ad, it would go out to various translators who would see the ad and send in their translations. For a TV ad, as opposed to a print ad, we would have another round of ‘checks’ where other translators would see the translations, compare them with the original, and ‘approve’ the translations so that we didn’t end up with some version of “Brand X Brings Your Ancestors Back from the Grave” (more here: http://www.takingontobacco.org/intro/funny.html)

    That’s it. No strategic decisions made on the basis of known/unknown socio-cultural differences, no gender sensitivity, no nothing. Unless we were dealing with a regional brand, which would be a completely different can of worms.

    I’m guessing the Tamil translators for the Airtel ad were retired old Tamil men whose relex was to continue, unquestioningly, the ‘good old days’ when their manivi called them ‘neenga’…..

  13. Chevalier
    July 30th, 2008 at 14:39 | #13

    which would OPEN a completely different can of worms.

    (idiots shouldn’t do idioms :-p)

    and Tamil men whose reFlex….

    sheesh. i’m going home now.

  14. July 31st, 2008 at 01:37 | #14

    Chevalier - no worries, it didn’t sound dismissive; please feel free to disagree! what you’ve mentioned is a possibility too. I have seen the casualness with which language is treated, esp when it comes to regional languages… of course, its not just this one ad - tamizh movies in general too seem to feel unable to tear themselves away from the ‘neenga’…

  1. July 20th, 2008 at 20:36 | #1