Another Rape, Another Statistic

In yet another shameful incident, an MBA student in Noida was raped by 5 men, who waylaid her, while she was in a car, with a male friend. Delhi/NCR has of course become notorious for such crimes, but this incident again proves something that feminists have for long been crying themselves hoarse about - that, rapes are caused by rapists not by the behaviour of victims. This woman was inside her own car (or her friend’s), not taking public transport. She was outside a mall, not on some deserted stretch. She was with a friend - a male friend.  She was out at 5 pm, not at some deserted hour at night. So, while many people try hard to find reasons why someone was raped (she was on her own, she was out at night, she went to the wrong part of town etc etc etc), clearly all that you need for a rape to occur is a few numbers of scum, regardless of what the victim was doing or wearing. 

And oh, why do I call it a statistic? Because that’s what it’s likely to become, as the pathetic conviction rates for rape in India show. 

Tags: crimes against women, rape crimes in India

The A to Z of Books

There is a meme doing the rounds around the blogworld at the moment - a listing of one’s favourite films all the way through A to Z. After reading Shefaly’s interesting take on it, I was tempted to try my hand on it. I have only however started watching good movies in the last 5-6 years, so I very much doubted that I could say anything halfway decent on the subject. So, instead, I’ve decided to do a twist on it, in the form of an A to Z of my favourite books. I thought it would be a good idea to kickstart 2009 with one humungous post. 

Of course, a book meme isn’t much easier either. The choice is complicated by the fact that I am a somewhat indiscriminate reader and find many writers and books interesting. Still, here goes. (I am ignoring articles to make things simpler). 

A is for The Ancestor’s Tale, Richard Dawkins’ account of our ancestry, in the evolutionary sense of it. I liked it both for its factual worth and for the sense that it imparts, that we humans are not as alone as we’d like to believe. Also, for the Adrian Mole series by Sue Townsend - the earlier books in the series featuring young Adrian always get me laughing like a maniac; this is a book about an underdog who stays one. 

B is for The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood. A doomed love story set in the Canada of the early twentieth century, to me the novel was an illustration of the power of language. Reading it as a college grad, I was both enthralled and depressed for weeks. I also loved this novel for its technique - a story within a story, where both are equally moving.

C is for The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger, for its dry-eyed look at loneliness and teenage angst. Also, A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess. I didn’t ‘like’ the book in a sense - there is absolutely nothing redeeming about the story. But, its invented speech is brilliant and it throws up some hard questions on the nature of goodness. 

D is for Ibsen’s A Doll’s House, an early feminist work and remarkable for the transformation in the main character, Nora from docile, subservient wife to a woman who finally understands the necessity of having her own mind. 

E is for Jean Auel’s Earth’s Children series. A fictional account revolving around both homo neanderthalensis (commonly known a neanderthals) and homo sapiens during the time that they coexisted. Before I started reading science, this book got me interested in human pre-history. Also, Vikram Seth’s An Equal Music - while this novel did not receive as much praise as The Suitable Boy, I liked it much better - perhaps because the story revolves around a group of classical musicians. 

F is for the Feluda mysteries by noted director Satyajit Ray. In these mysteries starring gentleman detective Felu Da and his young cousin Topshe, Ray shows us a picture of life in Kolkata as well. The stories do seem a little simple, when we compare them to mystery fiction today, but still, there is something very refreshing about them. 

G is for Graffiti My Soul by Niven Govinden. I found it a gripping story and I like the way the author has captured the life of a bunch of teenagers in Surrey. Love, race, cliques, slang - everything has been done so well. 

H is for J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series. Some may consider them simple, but I enjoyed every one of the series, especially part 3, The Prisoner of Azkaban and part 7, The Deathly Hallows. As a child, I loved school series such as Enid Blyton’s St. Clare’s and Malory Towers, and I like the way Rowling has blended the fun of school stories with adventure and fantasy. 

I is for Ambai’s collection of short stories, In a Forest, A Deer. (Strictly speaking, the Tamizh original, Kaattil Oru Maan would fall under K, but since I’m writing in English!) I liked this book both for the insightful stories and from an ideological perspective. 

J is for Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte. It is many, many years since I read this one, but I was so taken in by Charlotte Bronte’s picture of a young woman who is severely tested by circumstances and overcomes them to find true love. The scenes around Jane’s childhood are especially written so vividly that I can still remember them. Also, Jules Verne’s Journey to the Center of the Earth, which as a child, I read with wild-eyed wonder. 

K is for Jeffrey Archer’s Kane and Abel. A total page-turner with generous doses of family drama, conflict, a love story and ambition.  

L is for Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita. I didn’t like this book; can anyone really like this story of a paedophile who abducts and coerces a young girl? But, it is a revelation in how the most negative of characters can still be human, not a caricature, and also, be extremely funny. Also, the Lord of the Rings, for its inventiveness, its adventures and for just being such a damn good story.  

M is for Orhan Pamuk’s My Name is Red, a novel set around miniaturists in medieval Turkey. I liked very much the way Pamuk uses several narrative voices, including voices other than those of people. There is also a murder mystery embedded in the tale. Also, Art Spiegelman’s Maus, that superb graphic novel set in Nazi Germany where the Nazis take on the appearance of cats and the Jews that of mice. Seeing everything in animal form makes the cruelty of the whole thing even more stark. Spiegelman also twines his own personal history including his troubled relationship with his Dad into the holocaust tale. 

N is for The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco - this is one of my all-time favourite books and I have returned to it many times. It is a glimpse of medieval monastic life, a sort-of-biography, a murder mystery and an inquiry into faith all rolled into one. Also, by an author I much admire, Kazuo Ishiguro’s Never Let Me Go for its love story in a dystopian world . 

O is for One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey, that classic tale of underdog-versus-establishment, a comedy and tradegy set in a mental asylum. Even when you know that the underdog is going down, it leaves you with a feeling of optimism. 

P is for Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice - love, humour, wit, conflict, change - it has everything and inspite of the different age it is set in, it doesn’t tire.  Also, Kenzaburo Oe’s A Personal Matter, an extremely troubling novel that deals with a young man’s reactions to his child, born deformed. Responsibility, parenthood and love - all of which seem to go with each other ‘naturally’ are examined ruthlessly, and one gets a sense of how fragile the links are. 

(I pass over Q)

R is for Remains of the Day, again Kazuo Ishiguro. I find this novel very interesting because it deals with a butler, who all his life, has acquiesced to his master’s beliefs and whose first concern has been his professional duty, even at the cost of a love that could have been. Towards the end of his life, he must answer the question of whether such a life has had any value. 

S is for Sophie’s Choice by William Styron. It is the story of a Holocaust survivor who has nevertheless partly died because of the horrors that she has seen and the choices she has had to make. Add in a manic boyfriend and the worshipful, young narrator with his own coming-of-age story, and it is one lethal cocktail.

T is for Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird. Though Harper Lee never wrote any other major novels, this one classic quite makes up for it. It is a moving story of two young children growing up in the deeply divided American South with a father who believes in fairness and justice, and takes on the case of a black man unjustly accused of rape. 

(No entries for U and V)

W is for A Wind-up Bird Chronicle. I am quite partial to Haruki Murakami’s work and among the set, A Wind-up Bird Chronicle is one of my favourites. I like it for a number of reasons - the large plot, the seemingly casual way in which extraordinary events are thrown in and the bringing together of a personal tale with events from history. Also John Irving’s The World According to Garp for the wide canvas it covers and for the way he makes bizarre events look completely normal. 

(No entries for X and Z)

Y is for Joan Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking, an autobiographical book that looks into the nature of grief at close quarters. The Year of Magical Thinking is actually the first year after her husband’s death when Didion is unable to really accept that he will not be coming back. 

Note: Links haven’t been provided for books that I think practically everyone is likely to know.  

Tags: a to z of books, favourite books

Year End Appraisal

So we’re approaching the end of 2008; I don’t know whether it’s a good thing or not, that I can remember the hype and fear of Y2K as if it wasn’t too far back. Does time pass too quickly, or what? I was just thinking to myself on how this year has gone by, for me, and I thought it would be a good idea to take stock of what I’ve been doing. 

First the good. 

• I’ve expanded my client base, for my communications related/writing work; I quit the corporate world in mid-2007, and started off with a single client, though I continued doing some research/consulting work. This year, I’ve focused more on the communications business and my client base has grown, though it is still small. 
• I’m also happy that though I haven’t yet actually done any sort of marketing or publicity work for myself, my new clients have mainly come through referrals/networks. I hope that indicates some amount of client satisfaction! 
• I’ve been working on different kinds of assignments from fiction editing to web content to print articles to PR work to formal report writing and even blogging. 
• I resumed blogging here after a break, and while I wouldn’t call myself prolific, I’ve been more consistent this time. This is my 77th post in 7 months. 
• I have been working to improve my travel writing skills, and got published twice in The Hindu, here and here. 
• On the personal front, we (the husband and I) were able to continue the practice of a yearly vacation; this year, we travelled to the beautiful Andaman Islands. We were also able to do shorter trips to Hampi, Shimoga and Yelagiri. 
• I’ve been reading a lot, and I’m glad that I’ve started reading more than fiction; this year, I made a start with reading science, and some books I’ve really enjoyed are Richard Leakey’s ‘The Origins of Humankind’ and Richard Dawkins’ ‘The Ancestor’s Tale’ and ‘Unweaving the Rainbow’. I’m currently reading Steven Mithen’s ‘After the Ice’, an account of human history after the end of the last ice age.  
• I’m getting more used to being a self-employed professional, which means better at managing time, working on my own and managing an uncertain payments calendar without the security of a monthly cheque. 
• I’ve started learning the violin and managed to find a good school and teacher, not too far from home. 
• Since I’m not constrained by a 9-to-6 schedule anymore, I’ve started taking public transport more often. 

Now, The not-so-good 

• I’m still not as organized as I would wish , and constantly need to remind myself to watch my time, especially when I start reading something interesting online! 
• I haven’t paid enough attention to health and fitness; while I have been trying to do a 30-min brisk walk every evening, this often falls through for various reasons such as ‘too-cold’, work to do or simply, laziness. I’ve completely abandoned yoga, something I used to practise diligently. 
• I’ve made attempts to control my temper and I think I get better with this as I grow older but I’m still not as composed as I’d like to be. One of my favourite stories is from the life of the Buddha - one day, a man insults the Buddha using harsh words, but the Buddha stays calm. When the man asks him why, he tells him, “If you give someone a gift and he refuses it, what would you do?” The man says, “I would take it back”. The Buddha says, “Well, I have refused the gift of your words.” I heard this story as a child and it has stayed with me. Harsh words are not to be given easily, nor are they an excuse for us to give back harsh words in return. Of course, this is easier said than done. 
• I would like to work on a better website (besides the blog) to talk about my professional services, but I just haven’t found the right supplier at a price that I can afford. I must also admit that I haven’t looked too closely!
• I haven’t worked on my fiction writing as much as I should have. Writing is hard work, atleast to me. It doesn’t simply flow effortlessly. Though I have ideas, I need to work on them. I started work on my first novel but abandoned it after 3 chapters. I also realised that writing a novel is harder than one thinks. I have been working on a few short stories but I’d like to do more in 2009. 
• I wanted to get back to reading poetry, something I haven’t done since college, but I haven’t gotten around to it. 
• While I’ve set my waking time a little earlier and now manage to get up at 7 a.m or a little later, I keep feeling that I could get more exercising done, if only I was able to get up at 6 or 6.30. 
• I haven’t been as good as I used to be, at keeping in touch with friends. Infact, I think things like facebook are responsible for this. You see friends there and throw sheep at them, and ‘believe’ that you are keeping in touch; but this isn’t really the same as a good talk on the phone or even a personal email that really says something. 
• I don’t practise my music enough; I also don’t spend enough time listening to Western classical music as I wanted to, and this is sad, because classical music, one appreciates even more with regular listening. 
• I wanted to start volunteering actively, with an outfit that works with either women or children. I have been making some enquiries but not yet got to the right place where my skills would be useful. 

Tags: summary of 2008, year end appraisal

A Thing of Beauty

(Gustav Klimt’s Tree of Life)

Is life beautiful? Do we ’see’ Beauty so that we may live in a worthy manner? or do we live so that we may enjoy Beauty wherever it may exist? 

These were some of the thoughts that came to my mind, when I read this wonderful, quirky, thought-provoking story by Falstaff, ‘A Beautiful Tree’. 

Tags: short fiction

The Kindness of Strangers

One day every week, I attend a class to learn violin, about 4 bus-stops away from home, in a slightly dingy area. These days, with the Bangalorean winter setting in, it starts getting dark by 6 o clock and by the time I finish class at 7, everything looks dull and gloomy. So, I was thankful when I got to the stop and almost immediately, my bus came up. I struggled up the stairs - umbrella tucked under one arm, holding my music notes in one hand, clutching the violin with another and trying hard to keep my fashionable-but-impractical handbag from falling off my shoulder.  The driver took one look at me and immediately asked me to give him the violin, so that he could place it next to his seat. 

A very small and instinctive act that set me thinking about the kindness of strangers. 

Last year, my husband and I saved up to go to Europe during the summer. I looked forward to it for months, but I was also somewhat apprehensive - would we be treated well? Since we were going to some smaller, rural areas as well, would we face any trouble? As it happened, we needn’t have worried. For the most part, we met with such friendliness and help from all the people we met. 

Asking for directions in the compact and beautiful French town of Colmar, we were startled when two 70-year old ladies started walking us in the right direction. We thought they were going the same way; they weren’t - they just wanted to be sure that we got to the right bus-stop. `At the tiny village of Hunawihr, walking on the routes des vins, for some ten minutes, I stopped enjoying the country-side around me while my mind was focused on only 1 thing - how to find a toilet, and find one quick! The village had practically shut down for the day and the one public toilet (outside a church) was closed. In desperation, I asked a woman emerging from a school, if she could help. It turned out that she was the gym mistress, and very graciously, she unlocked the school and gym that she had just closed, and waited while I used the loo. 

In Paris, at the interminable queue outside the Palace of Versailles, an Italian lady extended her umbrella over our heads as it started raining. The umbrella wasn’t quite enough for 3 people, but it didn’t matter. In Amsterdam, lost in the circuitous streets, a young man who saw us poring over a map, volunteered to our rescue. 

Closer home, when we visited the Andaman islands this year, we were captivated by a plant with lovely pink flowers, at one of the homes. Hesitantly, we enquired of the owner whether we might have a sapling to take back for our garden. A young girl, who informed us that it was the ‘madhavi-lata’, enthusiastically dug up one for us, though it took her some time and effort. 

While we enjoy the places that we visit - the chance to see the well-known monuments and natural beauty of the world and explore unusual cuisine and activities, is it not the kindness of strangers that makes travel so much more enriching? And not just travel, but in the midst of so much gloom and pessimism, it makes life itself so much sweeter. 

Tags: the kindness of strangers, travel

What makes them sing?

As a woman, one learns very early on that there are all sort of creeps on the road. There are the kinds who walk as if they are in a hurry, and at the last minute, bump into you. There are the sorts who always look at a point somewhere 10 inches below your eyes. There are the ones on a bus/train who feel up your butt (or any other handy part) quickly, and when you turn back to glare/fight/whack them, pretend that the hand belonged to someone else. And then, there are the weirdos who sing.  

What is it with these men who sing at perfectly unknown women? Last week, I was on my way to the bus-stop near my house, on a slightly deserted road, when a young boy, about 15 or 16, passed me on a cycle. As he passed me, he turned his head to sing something to me, before zooming away. I could not hear him very well or figure out what song it was. It set me thinking - what really is it that this creep was trying to do? His message was audible only to him, so it wasn’t even like he succeeded in conveying anything to me. 

This is not the first time I’ve had a strange man sing in my direction, nor has it always been young men. Sometimes, I really, really blame Bollywood (and other Indian cinema), for producing such sick farces in the name of love. You know the story - dashing young man woos unwilling young woman through what can only be called harassment - because, of course, the lady only needs to be persuaded, no isn’t really no. On the other hand, it is difficult to believe that anyone takes what they see in the movies that seriously. But, perhaps, even if they don’t believe it literally and don’t expect the woman on the street to fall in love with them for the price of a song - perhaps, they do think that at some level, women will welcome any kind of attention? 

There is also of course the possibility that they do it to make themselves feel ‘macho’ and good. I’m inclined to think this is the real reason and that they don’t actually care very much whether the woman responds or not. My guess is, if a woman actually responded in any manner, they’d be more shocked than anything, since she is quite besides the point. 

Tags: feminist, indian women, Sexual harassment

यहाँ भी घास है

“यहाँ भी घास है, यहाँ भी घास है, यहाँ भी घास है, यहाँ भी घास है” - a memoir-style piece by Ramesh Chandra Dwivedi, over at Pratilipi, which I much enjoyed reading - an account of a day spent with Munshi Premchand and the poet Firaaq Gorakhpuri. I’m not quite sure if the events narrated really happened the way the author recalls them, or whether some fictional licence was taken; irrespective of that, it is very readable for the way it captures a slice of a very different world (The old UP ‘cultured world’ of mehfils and shaayari). I also liked the rapid descent from euphoria to gloom. For the Hindi-challenged, there is an Angrezi (English) version as well. 

Tags: Hindi writing, Pratilipi

Idling in Shimoga

Some time ago, we had a lazy and fulfilling weekend in Shimoga; an account of that has been published by The Hindu this week - you can read it here.

Tags: published writing, shimoga

Paternity Leave & Childcare

An most useful piece over at the F-Word on how treating (most) childcare leave as maternal leave reinforces existing gender stereotypes on who should be doing it. It’s in the British context, but of course, it’s relevant to us as well. I think just by allowing fathers to take time off, in the Indian context, we’re not going to see a spate of men rushing to take on childcare. There are other factors including definitions of masculinity as well as fear of what ‘others will say’. However, it will atleast make it easier for those men who are already beyond such worries and would like to play a much more active role in child-rearing.

Also, if large, well-known companies were to do this, it would send some sort of signal to society, that there is no shame in a man choosing to spend time caring for the family. As more employed men are seen taking on this role, there will be more men who understand that you can work outside home and yet make time for childcare, and it’s not because you are a loser. As things stand today, even the few men who would like to stay home and take a break caring for the kids, can’t really do it, because there is no such legal provision; a man who wanted to do this today, would pretty much have to quit his job, except in a very few companies that allow sabbaticals.

Currently, as the law stands, men can take a break of upto 15 days, though I think this is mainly for government and related organisations. This is only meant for the father to support the mother in the initial days after delivery - it is really not childcare leave; Should the mother want to go back to work 4 months after the delivery and the father step in to take care of the child for some time - currently, not possible. Some IT/other new economy industries, I heard, had begun offering some paternity leave but there is nothing mandatory. Our slow-moving governments of course will take another decade to look into issues like this. There will be the usual arguments about economic loss etc, but doesn’t that stem from a lopsided view of the world where it assumes that it is ‘natural’ for men to work and earn while women ‘can’ work if they want to, but ultimately, we know where their place really is?

Paradise Now

Thanks to World Movies, I’m getting to watch different cinema from different countries. Last night, I stayed up late, watching this Palestinian-Arabic movie, Paradise Now. Set in Nablus, a small town on the West Bank, it is the story of two men recruited as suicide bombers against (what they see as) the unethical and brutal Israeli occupation. I mentioned ‘what they see as’, because, while I do believe that the Palestinians were originally unjustly pushed out of their land, their tactics haven’t always been ethical or practical either.

I found that the movie did a good job of putting a very human face to the two suicide bombers - at the same time, I didn’t get the feeling that it condoned violence. If anything, Sara, a girl that one of the bombers likes, is the voice of an alternate view, that it is possible to resist without taking recourse to violence. It is easy to see what attracts the young men to violence - living in depressing, prison-like conditions, lacking the means to better their lives, the shame of having been ‘conquered’. The contrast between shiny Tel Aviv and falling-apart Nablus is stark.

The ‘leaders’ of the resistance promise the young men, Sa’id and Khaled glory, a place in paradise and the assurance that their families will be taken care of. One of the most disconcerting moments in the movie was when Khaled presents his farewell ‘martyrs’ speech to a video camera, and the man who recruits him munches away on the sandwiches that Khaled’s mother has packed that morning. Scenes like this helped to make the resistance fighters somewhat ambiguous figures - driven by patriotism, but also perhaps by self-interest and a hankering for fame in a very narrowly defined world?

What was missing was an Israeli counter-view, but then, perhaps it would have been difficult to humanise the suicide bombers, if seen from the eyes of their adversaries? I’m not going to reveal the end, but it was interesting for its lack of certainty. Watch this one if you can. (Later on, I figured that it was nominated for and won some Oscars as well).

Tags: arabic movies, Media-Movies-Ads, paradise now